Joseph and I call it “the Downeast Downies” – reading the paper, watching TV, taking a nap or two, and just having a lazy day. It always reminds of that song from the musical Flower Drum Song (from one of my high school musicals – and now probably too politically incorrect for schools to do). It was called Sunday Sweet Sunday.
Sunday, sweet Sunday,
With nothing to do,
Lazy and lovely,
My one day with you.
Hazy and happy,
We’ll drift through the day,
Dreaming the hours away.
That’s how today was. And, after 3 days of crazy getting ready to leave work for vacation, and two days on the road, it was definitely how I wanted it!
The highlight of the day was a visit from Ollie, who owns Windward Cottages. It’s always good to see him, but our first time of the season is especially happy. Joseph, Ollie and I sat at the table with some wine and cheese and caught up with what’s been going on in our lives over the past year.
Ollie’s spouse, Kelli, passed away in 2016. When she did, I wondered how Ollie would fare – especially since Mt. Desert changes when tourist season is over. I was happy to hear that Ollie was doing some traveling. In fact, quite a bit of traveling. He took a trip during each one of the out-of-season months. He traveled with the group called Road Scholar and found a traveling partner, Gayle. He also traveled – alone! – to Africa on safari – his “trip of a lifetime.”
When I told Ollie, who has been twice-widowed, how much I admired that he kept moving forward in spite of his grief over losing his spouse, he said something interesting. “When you’ve been through this a couple times, you realize that person isn’t coming back. Not in a couple weeks or a couple months. Not ever.”
Ollie’s words struck me. Of course it’s true. One spouse died but the surviving spouse is still here. And that spouse has a choice about how to live and how to honor the deceased spouse. I think living a full life is the greatest way to honor the relationship with a spouse that has passed.