Values are beacons of light that guide you and keep you on the right path. Sometimes, what you learned growing up is in conflict with your true values.
How Conflicting Values Are Developed
For example, your parents or teachers might have taught you to be “good girls” – which probably meant that you should go along and be agreeable. So now, even though you’re grown up, when people ask you to do something for them, you probably say ‘yes’ – even if it steps on something you value – like your honesty, health, independence or self-respect. You might think saying ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’ will avoid rejection or just that it may be good manners. But it can be very destructive to your health.
How? When you feel angry, resentful, bitter, etc. on a regular basis, those feelings solidify into attitudes. If those attitudes don’t mesh with your values, you create internal conflict. Research has shown that internal conflict and negative/pessimistic attitudes dampen the immune system and leave you vulnerable to disease (dis-ease).
Take This One Step to Break the Toxic Cycle of Agreeability
From now on, instead of instantly agreeing to requests, take a moment to think about what you can and cannot do. Practice saying, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you [name a specific time].” OR, suggest a help exchange, that is, you can help them with their project, if they will help you with something you have to do.
Revisit Your Values
If you haven’t thought about your true values lately, take some time this month to think about them. Use list of values to start identifying yours: Values Tracker
Your Next Step for Personal Empowerment
Once you identify your values, you can take the next step by watching a free webinar. It explains a 3 step system to achieve your goals!