Drama Queen. You’ve known a couple of them in your life, haven’t you? Maybe you’ve even been guilty of being one yourself from time to time.
What’s the difference between having a problem in your life and living a life that drips drama? One is normal and happens to everyone from time to time. The other is almost-always a self-inflicted wound – a cry for attention. A never-ending series of problems that chips away at your feminine power by keeping you in either victim or rescuer mode all the time.
If last week you had a serious health crisis and your sister was in a car accident and, just as you and she were feeling better, some awful thing happened with your kids. Then the washer hose broke when you weren’t there and sprewed water everywhere and now you smell mildew when you walk through the door.
If that’s only the beginning, and if your life is filled with constant drama, it’s not normal. Life attracts like and if drama is a trend, here are a three ways to reverse the movement and mitigate the drama in your life.
- Stop telling everyone. Some women get addicted to the attention they get by talking about their problems. If they didn’t have a problem, they’d have nothing to talk about. If you’re conversations are all about your problems, drama becomes your brand. Not only are you likely to attract more of problems, but people are more likely to see you as depressing and uninteresting. Remind yourself that your problem is temporary and “this too shall pass.” Maybe you can even find a way to makes jokes about it or see if there is some good that can come out of it. One woman diagnosed with ovarian cancer had an understandably very bad year. When her doctor gave her the good news that the cancer was gone, she and her spouse celebrated. “You certainly think about your priorities and what’s important,” she reflected, “but I think you can also use it to get closer and develop more appreciation for everything that’s good.
- Don’t make other people’s problems your own. When someone shares a problem with you, it’s good to sympathize with and support them, emotionally and physically. But sometimes you might be so empathetic that you put on the problem the way you put on your clothes. When you make their problem your problem, you aren’t helping. At the very least, you aren’t letting that person figure out ways to solve their own problem. Overcare could also lead to that person not learning the lessons that will prevent him/her from getting into the same problem again. At the same time, when you make someone else’s problems you own, you’re cheating yourself out of the energy you need to handle your own problems. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is work on yourself and let others solve their own problems.
- Create excitement that is not drama-driven. Some women can’t let go of drama because it’s the only excitement they have. So the argument with the family member or neighbor is the thing that gets their juices flowing and makes them feel alive, needed, and important. If you’ve gotten yourself into that predicament, do something different. One woman called it “putting ‘zip’ into her day.” Take an art or writing class, go to a movie by yourself, sign up for zumba…something that will introduce you to new people and make you stretch yourself into that greater expression of who you really are.