Hi and Happy Holidays!
It was just about this time last year when officials said if we lock everything down for two weeks, it would stop the spread. Two weeks came and went. On Easter in mid-April, Joseph and I went out for breakfast – Sizzlis and tea at Wawa. We ate them at a nearby park, sitting in our car; we couldn’t sit outside because it was raining. After breakfast, we took a sanity drive around the Brandywine Valley. It was the first of many weekends when we’d pick up takeout, go to a park with picnic tables, and “eat out” among the trees and flowers.
Whodathunk – 12 months later – most of us would still be locked down!
However, now that the weather is allowing for outdoor seating, we can eat out more. And as more and more people, and younger and younger ones are getting vaccines, things may finally start getting back to some kind of normal. Yayyyy!
Now What Do We Do?
For the past year I’ve been writing about pick-me-up ideas, and striving to live them along with you. However, in my life, I have some new challenges – two of them. The lesser of them is my voice – it cuts out on me sometimes. So not good for someone whose living depends a lot on speaking. I’ve been to several doctors and had lots of tests and – good news – I’m in good physical shape. So what’s causing it?
Lately I’ve been going inside…We know the throat chakra is the power center and, no surprise, the past year hasn’t given me – and most of us – any personal power surges. So that’s one idea.
Also, like you, I miss people…and hugs…and laughter. I miss being in-person with you and all the wonderful Victory Chicks – and you guys who love us – who inspire me to get out of bed in the morning. Also, I miss in-person meetings with a new and growing group of Millennials who are curious about the Five-Year Marriage®.
So many of them – especially women – aren’t as interested in giving up their careers and hard-won independence just to be married. Because of that, recent research says that 25% of Millennials are likely to never get married. That’s not very good for society in general.
Still, those younger ones are so interesting as they search for the better way to do “I do” — looking at things like open marriage and polyamory. As they explore, the Five-Year Marriage offers them an approach that is different – but not as different as polyamory and open marriage, and definitely more main stream.
It’s exciting, and I miss the one-on-one and group connection with them.
Here’s the other challenge I’m facing…
The other new wrinkle in my life is that Joseph was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. The good part is that he has been getting PSA tests for 20 years. At his last physical, when he saw a PSA spike, he paid attention fast. So it’s in an early stage.
Since the diagnosis we’ve been seeing lots of doctors and researching the best solutions. I expect that Joseph will decide on his treatment soon, and it’ll most likely happen in May or June.
And, FYI Victory Chicks, I now know more about prostates than I ever wanted to know! My biggest surprise is learning how many men have it – and often don’t even know about it. So take note: if your sweetie, friend, father, or brother isn’t getting his PSA, insist on it – NOW!
It’s funny how most of us Victory Chicks know a lot about our hoohas, but most men know nothing about their prostates – and they don’t want to know. Maybe they would if the prostate had some cute name… 🙂
So, in the same way that you do your regular mammogram and gyn, the men in your life need to be doing his PSA and prostate exam. Yes, I know he says it’s not comfortable. So what? It isn’t comfortable for you when your feet are in stirrups, but you do it.
I learned long ago, we go faster when we go together
Joseph and I are looking at what’s happening with us as a wake-up call. You see, when we “new” thirty-some years ago, we did a lot of visioning and spiritual work. Together we dreamed about what we wanted for our future and where we wanted to go together. Then, at the end of each of our six previous marriages, we reviewed and reset our plans, and those gave us a fresh start in each of our new marriages.
However, something shifted in the past few years. We did our five-year marriage thing in 2018, but since then we aren’t moving in the direction we planned. At first, I thought it was covid – and some of it is. However, by the end of last year, I started discussing the “something’s wrong” with Joseph (it must be the curse – or the blessing – of being married to a teacher/author).
The more we talked, the clearer it became that…(1) we got mentally and spiritually lazy. Maybe it’s because we are now where we dreamed and visioned we would be 30 years ago. As a result, the “hunger” isn’t the same…and, also, we aren’t as perky as we were then. And (2) when we set our goals for our new marriage and our future together, we didn’t do any dreaming or visioning about them. So they were good to talk about doing, we weren’t working together to make things happen.
Here’s the thing…
I truly believe that when you and I don’t create our own vision for the future, we get the “default” version. That’s the “go with the flow” edition of life.
I’m not built for that and neither is Joseph. I’ll bet you aren’t either!
For Joseph and me, I’m finding that there are fewer things that focus the mind like a cancer diagnosis!
So we’re going back to our roots and doing some things we didn’t do before…including reading/listening to books. One of them is old: The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz. If you never read it, it’s really worth the read.
In fact, if you want to read it with me, we could discuss it on a zoom meeting – like a book club. If you’re interested, send me an email at Annmarie@AnnmarieKelly.com with BIG MAGIC in the subject line.
Also, Joseph found this video on YouTube. Kathy Buckley is a deaf woman who tried to commit suicide several times, was hit by a jeep, had cancer and finally decided enough is enough. She shares her story and she’s funny. I like it and maybe you will too.This is the short version: Kathy Buckley
It’s a new season – Spring, Easter, Passover…a season of rebirth and renewal. Make the most of it!
And, if you would keep Joseph and me in your prayers, I appreciate it!
To those of you who are celebrating…
Chag Pesach Sameach!
With love and in victory,
It’s still early in the year and you CAN make 2021 your best year yet!
I’m Annmarie Kelly, award-winning author, speaker, and lifestyle expert. I’m also the founder of The Victorious Woman Project, the empowerment resource for midlife women looking to make a change in their life or their relationship. Check it out…it’s full of helpful and inspiring articles, interviews with fabulous women who have been there and done that, and also classes and other tools that will help you find and nourish your inner spark. Oh…and that’s also where you can get one of my inspiring and motivating self-help books. Victorious Woman: Shaping Life’s Challenges into Personal Victories, Victory by Design, and marriage game-changer, The Five-Year Marriage: Shifting the Marriage Paradigm.
I know how the past year has challenged you – body, mind, and soul. They’ve challenged me too. It’s been hard on everyone! But there’s good news – the future is what you make it! So it’s time to look forward to better days. And you can start RIGHT NOW. WANT MORE?
Follow Five_Year Marriage on Facebook: https:facebook.com/fiveyearmarriage
Follow FYM on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fiveyearmarriage/
Follow Annmarie on Twitter https://twitter.com/AnnmarieKelly
Like Victorious Woman on FB: https://www.facebook.com/victoriouswoman
Subscribe to Victory Chicks Radio & Podcasts: