Show Up for Yourself this Valentine’s Day!

valentines kitten
Valentines Day cat. Small striped kitten playing with red hearts on light white blanket on bed, looking at camera. Adorable domestic kitty pets concept

Recently I was asked to contribute a chapter to the inspirational anthology being published by my long-time mentor, Robbie Motter. It’s her 2nd anthology. I almost never say “no” when Robbie asks me to do something. Plus, the first anthology did really well. In fact, it became an international bestseller. So, thinking fast, I easily decided what I’d write.

When the Stakes are High…

My chapter starts with explaining how I saw the importance of asking and showing up for other people. But it wasn’t until the stakes were really high – facing marriage – that I had the courage to not just show up for my partner, but to show up for my own life and make a very unusual ask that changed my whole life.

An Unconventional Marriage

I  tell the story of how The Five-Year Marriage came about and why I needed to do marriage in that unconventional way. I explain that, by the time I met Joseph, I’d started to see that marriage wasn’t always such a good deal for a woman. As a “remedy” for that, I saw perfect sense and practicality in renegotiating agreements every few years.

Here’s the thing:  I’ve told that whole story many, many times. It wasn’t until I wrote the anthology chapter that I saw some long-past experiences in a new way. Here’s what I realized:

Leading Lady or Best Friend?

In those younger years, all my past relationships with boyfriends, including the one from my first engagement, and also those with family and friends, I always showed up for the other person. I was like that quote from the Christmas movie, The Holiday, when a wise older man, Arthur Abbott, tells a forlorn Iris, “in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you are behaving like the best friend.”

Like Iris, and so many women I’ve talked to and written about, I acted like the best friend.

Being The Leading Lady, For Your Own Story

So here’s something for you to think about:

How often do you show up for yourself in your life?

This month we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day and all the talk is about love. If you have a sweetie, you probably already know how to show up with love in that relationship. But what about that all-important relationship with yourself? How are you showing up with love for yourself?

Here are three ways to show up for YOU this Valentine’s Day

  • JOY. Think of one activity that brings you joy…and then do it next week. Maybe next you can make time for one self-love and “show up for me” activity each week
  • BOUNDARIES. Sometimes people offend you because they don’t know they crossed a line. Maybe you didn’t know it either until they did it, and you got angry or  hurt. Think about that time and find the boundary.
    • Define that personal boundary for yourself and share it with at least one person.
    • Btw: one of mine is “no one is allowed to yell at me.”
  • INTUITION. Connect with your intuition. It’s so valuable yet we don’t use it enough. Two pathways to your intuition: meditation and journaling.

Find your JOY – Be strong in your BOUNDARIES – Be wise in your INTUITION.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
With love and in victory, 


My New Website Has Launched!

This new website is specifically for The Five-Year Marriage and introduces The Relationship Roadmap! With the Roadmap, every few days for a couple of weeks, you’ll receive one step of the roadmap. Each email includes a variety of free resources including videos, pdfs, and worksheets. I also include easy-to-follow action items – simple to do steps for creating a relationship you love living! CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE NEW SITE.

relationship roadmap

I’d love your feedback! Please visit my new site and let me know what you think! Send your comments to


Check out this new article that was published on World360News:
Valentine’s Day Engagement?
Three Reality Shifts to Make Before You Say “YES”

Click here to read the article!


Something for the young single woman or couple

Know a young professional woman, or a couple who is getting married, is pre-engaged, or living together? They absolutely need a copy of The Five-Year Marriage: Shifting the Marriage Paradigm. It’s loaded with great conversation-starters and things couples need to talk about – before saying “I DO”.

Ruth got a copy for her almost-thirty daughter who is dating but not so interested in the ’til-death commitment of traditional marriage. She got it not just because it’s non-traditional, but also because “you make people think about what’s important in a marriage…it’s like a guidebook.”

And, just recently, a newly-divorced Kathleen told me, I wish I’d have read this 3 years ago when my marriage was still worth saving.”

Here’s the Amazon link to order: Five-Yea Marriage


Victory Circles

I’m starting a new Victory Circle for women in February The Circles will meet for 6 weeks. Cost is $595. If you’re interested, send me an email and we’ll schedule a time for a (free) 15-minutes Discovery Call: with Discovery Request in the subject line.

——————————-Btw: If you like what you read here, and you think someone you know will benefit from reading it, please forward this to that friend, relative, or colleague. THANKS!!

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What is the Five-Year Marriage®?

Who Is Annmarie Kelly?

Annmarie Kelly is a teacher, relationship coach, author, and the architect of The Five-Year Marriage. You can learn more at And, for some weekly inspiration, join Annmarie’s private Facebook group, The Victory Chicks Community.

blog: Victory Tips

An extensive listing of blog posts that help you take control of your life and live empowered. These articles are full of victory tips.

Five Year Marriage

The Five-Year Marriage is a ground-breaking new concept for marriage. Every five year the couple spiritually ends one marriage and begins a new one - with new agreements and goals

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