What do you want to be in your marriage – the partner or the employee? Don’t see how either one relates to your marriage?
Relationship Perspective; Employees Vs. Partners
Think of a good law firm. There are the partners and the employees. The employees include working attorneys, legal assistants, and administrative assistants. All of them work are expected to work hard because all of them perform different but important functions in the firm. However, only the partners make the major decisions that affect the company.
You Choose Your Role in Marriage
In the Five-Year Marriage™, when you are negotiating or renegotiating your contract, you need to decide if you are going to be a partner or an employee. Partners have an equal say in how the marriage works. Being a partner intrinsically has more benefits, but it also carries a greater share of the risks.
Don’t like Making Decisions? You’re Probably the Employee
In many marriages, some people like being marriage employees. They don’t mind not being an equal partner because they don’t want the responsibility. If something goes wrong, they can blame someone else. They can maintain a childlike naivete and, for some, it’s a kind of freedom.
Employees Risk Losing their sense of SELF
While the choice to be a partner or an employee is always yours, there’s a price to be paid for that…and it’s usually your SELF. On the other hand, there’s more risk when you take the partner role but also more reward, most specifically in terms of the true intimacy that can bless a marriage.
Did you Choose Your Role or Was It Assigned?
Are you a marriage employee? If you are, maybe you chose to be an employee because it was easier, or it was role your parent modeled or you accepted the employee role unwittingly.
Reclaiming Your Personal Power
But now you’ve grown, or stepped into your personal power, or just got older and wiser. You want to make a change.
If you have been a marriage employee, and you want to change that role, the end of a Five-Year Marriage™ is a good time to rethink what you want to do. If you stepped into the role of marriage partner but want it to be different, here are a couple questions:
- What would you have to be and do differently?
- What would your spouse have to change?
- Are you both willing to redefine your roles?
- How will you handle your new roles…especially when one of both of you unconsciously slip back into your old roles?
Transition to a Five-Year Marriage®
Want to learn more about transitioning from a traditional marriage to a Five-Year Marriage®? Here are your next steps:
- Grab a copy of the Five-Year Marriage® from Amazon
- Follow the Five-Year Marriage on Instagram or Facebook
- Watch the Free Relationship Reset Webinar
- Sign up for the Five-Year Marriage® Newsletter
- Get your copy of the Curiosity Conversation Cheat Sheet
- Contact me, Annmarie Kelly, for 1-on-1 coaching