What's Love Got to Do with It?

What’s love got to do with it? That’s what Tina Turner asked in her classic hit. It was the song that was playing in my head when I was putting together this month’s Valentine Challenge…you know, an earworm… playing over and over. I couldn’t make it stop, so it got me thinking about love.

A Question for Newlyweds and Long-time Married Couples: What is Love??

What is it – the love thing?  You and I say we love. We love people. We love our pets. We love places, events, and things..

But sometimes “love” gets a little confusing. Like…several women and men have told me they love their spouse, but don’t like them. That always gets me scratching me head. Of course, I guess it makes for an interesting marriage – and one I personally believe could use The Five-Year Marriage® treatment.

But here’s a question for you….Have you ever thought about what love really means to you? I don’t know that I ever did until I wrote The Five-Year Marriage.

Love Comes in Many Forms

Five year marriage relationship success

Then I got thinking about it. When I was a kid, love was someone being nice to me. When I was older, love got tangled with sex. When my parents needed caregiving, doing that was love. How could it be all those things? Yet it is.

So I got quiet one day and started poking around in my head and heart. How do I know what love is – what it feels like? My thoughts surprised me; my conclusion didn’t.

What Love Means to Me, and Many Midlife Women

To me, love is feeling safe with the person/people I’m with. That feeling of safety allows me to be who I really am, my unguarded self – to laugh out loud, to be emotional without censor, to say something stupid, be teased, and a bunch of other things that don’t happen when I don’t feel safe.

It was so interesting that I decided to poke around in other people’s heads and hearts. Turns out love is something very different to everyone. Here’s what some other women said love is:

  • Kate: feeling like home to each other
  • Maggie: comfort in uncomfortable places
  • Caitlin: being with someone who pays attention
  • Missy: being alone but not feeling lonely

Knowing what Love can help you Clarify your Relationships

What about you? Have you ever thought about what love is to you? Once you get really clear about what love is to you, it’s easier to identify the best places to give and get love. It’s easier to decide who is friend, acquaintance, or just a PIA you have to have in your life.

During this “love month” it could be worth a little time poking around in your head and heart. And not just for clarity. There’s something else to make it worthwhile. Tina sings that love is a “second-hand emotion.”


Love also has Health Benefits for Midlife Women!

Did you know that love has actual health benefits? It does – and it’s probably the reason the American Heart Association chose this month for its heart-health “Go Red for Women” campaign.
People in Love reap some cool rewards.  Here are just a few:

  • Fewer colds
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer heart attacks
  • Faster recovery from heart attacks
  • Fewer complications from pneumonia
  • Shorter hospital stays Longer life   Impressive, eh?

The Answer to What’s Love Got to Do with It?

The answer to “what’s love got to do with it” is, apparently, love has a lot to do with everything!

What if you don’t have a sweetie to love and love you? No worries! You can get the same health benefits by having a beloved pet, a strong girlfriend tribe, or a close knit social circle.

So, in your best Victory Chick mode, make some space in your thinking, meditating, walking, or praying to take a few minutes of soul-searching this Valentine’s Day. While love isn’t always hearts and flowers, it has a real place in your life. What is it?

And maybe by the weekend that song will stop rolling around my brain. Damn earworm… 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day!
With love and in victory,

#Valentine’s Day. #Love, #What’sLoveGotToDoWithIt, #Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

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What is the Five-Year Marriage®?

Created by Annmarie Kelly, the Five-Year Marriage® is a concept of restructuring marriage agreements every five years to take into consideration external and internal changes happening to each person in the relationship. This periodic assessment of each person’s happiness, fulfillment, obligations and goals creates a safe space for each person to grow and change, together. The result is a relationship that grows stronger and more intimate over time. This collection of articles is a dep dive into the  different concepts proposed in the book, The Five-Year Marriage® and deserve a space for additional exploration and discussion.

Five Year Marriage

The Five-Year Marriage is a ground-breaking new concept for marriage. Every five year the couple spiritually ends one marriage and begins a new one - with new agreements and goals


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