March's Deep Pause

Corona-19 has flipped the world upside-down. It’ll be a apart of your history – women’s history – forever. Most people are scared…sheltering in place, keeping their distance from one another, living on FB and Instagram.

You have a choice this month – to see what is happening both globally and in your world – as devastation or opportunity, If you choose the latter – and I hope you do – you can emerge from this difficult time on the plus side.

Now is the Time for Midlife Women to FOCUS ON THEMSELVES

You know how you’re always so busy? If it isn’t some work thing, it’s a social something. You keep wanting to focus on you and your goals, but then you get distracted by something else or somebody else. But now that you’re in a mandatory deep pause…here’s you opportunity!

I remember Annie, a woman I talk about in Victorious Woman. The fun-loving sixty-something woman was diagnosed with cancer. The thing that would have jazzed her into fighting for her life was opening a bridal shop. When she told her spouse, kids, and friends, everyone laughed. SO, instead of designing a life she wanted, she went into the default position; she died.

On the other hand, Victorious Woman Pattie Painter, also in her sixties and diagnosed with multiple cancers, chose to live by design. When she got well, she designed a new life as a wedding celebrant. She’s been performing weddings both locally and at different destinations for years…and having a wonderful time.

In an Ideal World, How Would You Design Your Perfect Life?

Have you been trying to design your own meditation practice? Start today with just five minutes. In two weeks you can build up to ten minutes…and in a month you’ll have designed a new healthy habit.

What do you want to do next month, next week, next year? What did you miss in the past that you want to do now? Is it a new skill or learning? What about that business you’ve always talked about? Or is there a fabulous trip (for next year…not now!)?  Have you always wanted to visit the original seven wonders of the world or the NEW wonders, or the top ten National Parks in the US? Maybe you’ve dreamed of tossing a coin in Italy’s Trevi fountain, having dinner at the Eiffel Tower, seeing Stonehenge, or meditating with a yogi at a Himalayan spa.

This “deep pause” is giving you time to focus on what’s in your heart of hearts. Make the most of it!

Looking for social connection with other midlife women during the quarantine?

  1. Join the Victory Chicks Community – a private Facebook group
  2. Follow our social media accounts for inspiration and interesting information
    Instagram, Facebook, Youtube
  3. Join the Victorious Woman Mailing List:
Sending

Ready to design a life you love living?

If you need a concise process that can figuratively take you by the hand and walk you through the process of redesigning or reinventing your life, this is it!

  • Easy step-by-step instructions to start changing your life RIGHT NOW
  • Real life examples that explain and motivate
  • Inspiration to help you push through the tough days
  • Space to write as you read!

Get instant access to this pdf workbook when you buy now!

$14.95Add to cart

Victory by Design: Self-help book for midlife women transforming their lives

February: Women and Heart Health

Knowledge is power for midlife women!

midlife women heart health month

Health knowledge puts you in control of what happens with your body.

Did you know that h
eart disease is the leading cause of death for African American and white women in the United States. Among American Indian and Alaska Native women, heart disease and cancer cause roughly the same number of deaths each year. For Hispanic and Asian or Pacific Islander women, heart disease is second only to cancer as a cause of death.

Resources to Empower Midlife Women

Here is a list of resources that can help you identify, understand and prevent heart disease: 

  1. Myths about heart disease and women: https://www.goredforwomen.org/en/about-heart-disease-in-women/facts/common-myths-about-heart-disease 
  2. Do you know what happened to Susan Lucci?: https://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/womens-health/a26144012/susan-lucci-heart-health-scare/ 
  3. Did you know JAW PAIN is a sign of a heart attack…and there’s others that you might be surprised about: https://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/womens-health/g2923/heart-attack-warning-signs/
  4. Want to bring down your blood pressure naturally? Here’s how: https://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/wellness/a55690/what-to-do-if-you-have-high-blood-pressure/
  5. Think you’re too young for heart disease? https://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/a23065148/fox-sports-jen-hale-cardiomyopathy/
  6. TIPS: 10 ways to keep the female heart healthy! https://www.unitypoint.org/livewell/article.aspx?id=97aaf1dc-cc96-44e5-95ad-6f20509bdd8d
  7. Did you floss your teeth for your heart today? The bacteria that causes gum disease can get into your bloodstream and elevate that protein that’s a marker for inflammation in the blood vessels. https://www.healthline.com/health/gum-disease-and-heart-disease

#Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage #KeynoteSpeaker

What's Love Got to Do with It?

What’s love got to do with it? That’s what Tina Turner asked in her classic hit. It was the song that was playing in my head when I was putting together this month’s Valentine Challenge…you know, an earworm… playing over and over. I couldn’t make it stop, so it got me thinking about love.

A Question for Newlyweds and Long-time Married Couples: What is Love??

What is it – the love thing?  You and I say we love. We love people. We love our pets. We love places, events, and things..

But sometimes “love” gets a little confusing. Like…several women and men have told me they love their spouse, but don’t like them. That always gets me scratching me head. Of course, I guess it makes for an interesting marriage – and one I personally believe could use The Five-Year Marriage® treatment.

But here’s a question for you….Have you ever thought about what love really means to you? I don’t know that I ever did until I wrote The Five-Year Marriage.

Love Comes in Many Forms

Five year marriage relationship success

Then I got thinking about it. When I was a kid, love was someone being nice to me. When I was older, love got tangled with sex. When my parents needed caregiving, doing that was love. How could it be all those things? Yet it is.

So I got quiet one day and started poking around in my head and heart. How do I know what love is – what it feels like? My thoughts surprised me; my conclusion didn’t.

What Love Means to Me, and Many Midlife Women

To me, love is feeling safe with the person/people I’m with. That feeling of safety allows me to be who I really am, my unguarded self – to laugh out loud, to be emotional without censor, to say something stupid, be teased, and a bunch of other things that don’t happen when I don’t feel safe.

It was so interesting that I decided to poke around in other people’s heads and hearts. Turns out love is something very different to everyone. Here’s what some other women said love is:

  • Kate: feeling like home to each other
  • Maggie: comfort in uncomfortable places
  • Caitlin: being with someone who pays attention
  • Missy: being alone but not feeling lonely

Knowing what Love is can help you Clarify your Relationships

What about you? Have you ever thought about what love is to you? Once you get really clear about what love is to you, it’s easier to identify the best places to give and get love. It’s easier to decide who is friend, acquaintance, or just a PIA you have to have in your life.

During this “love month” it could be worth a little time poking around in your head and heart. And not just for clarity. There’s something else to make it worthwhile. Tina sings that love is a “second-hand emotion.”

Hardly!

Love also has Health Benefits for Midlife Women!

Did you know that love has actual health benefits? It does – and it’s probably the reason the American Heart Association chose this month for its heart-health “Go Red for Women” campaign.
People in Love reap some cool rewards.  Here are just a few:

  • Fewer colds
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer heart attacks
  • Faster recovery from heart attacks
  • Fewer complications from pneumonia
  • Shorter hospital stays Longer life   Impressive, eh?

The Answer to What’s Love Got to Do with It?

The answer to “what’s love got to do with it” is, apparently, love has a lot to do with everything!

What if you don’t have a sweetie to love and love you? No worries! You can get the same health benefits by having a beloved pet, a strong girlfriend tribe, or a close knit social circle.

So, in your best Victory Chick mode, make some space in your thinking, meditating, walking, or praying to take a few minutes of soul-searching this Valentine’s Day. While love isn’t always hearts and flowers, it has a real place in your life. What is it?

And maybe by the weekend that song will stop rolling around my brain. Damn earworm… 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day!
With love and in victory,
Annmarie

#Valentine’s Day. #Love, #What’sLoveGotToDoWithIt, #Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

What are You Waiting For?

This is the latest empowerment campaign from Bumble with the fabulous Serena Williams for the SuperBowl. It’s hard to believe that it’s still necessary to tell women and girls. That still…so many women are still waiting to be asked…for a date, for a pay raise or promotion, to speak. And so many of us don’t ask…and then we get angry because we get passed over for something.
The nuns used to tell us to do a good job and people will notice. That might have been true in the last century, but not in this century where everything moves so fast and life becomes like “short attention spam theater.”
One of the most frequent pieces of feedback I get from a Victorious Woman or Five-Year Marriage™ talk or workshop is “Thank you for giving my permission [to be empowered].
So many of us  “good girls” are waiting, often because we fear rejection and want validation. But only YOU can validate YOU. And rejection….well, we’re all going to get it throughout our lives…so we should get used to it.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, you need to step up and speak up…without being asked.
Are you still waiting for something?
WHY?
#MakeTheFirstMove, #SerenaWilliams, #VictoriousWomanProject, #VictoriousWoman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly
 

Should You Act Your Age?

How to transform in midlife“Nan didn’t like a lot of people,” the lovely college student said at Susan’s memorial service on a rainy Saturday afternoon, “In fact, she barely tolerated them.” The mourners laughed in recognition, lightening the somber mood at the historic old-English-style Bryn Mawr church.

She was right. Eighty-year-old Susan wasn’t a warm and fuzzy woman. She didn’t sugar-coat anything. She would rather “tell it like it is” than wrap her words in a pretty package that didn’t convey her point – and she always had one. Susan’s straight-forward talk, competitive behaviors, and those recent tattoos weren’t always comfortable for a lot of people in her upper crust crowd.

Yet, on that rainy December afternoon, Susan’s granddaughter stood before the congregants in the pew-packed church and showcased Susan’s forthright energy as shared three things she learned from her grandmother, starting with “Never Act Your Age.” She shared how much she loved that her grandmom kept up with college lingo and always gave her a straight answer. “Nan was my ‘go-to person’ when something happened,” she said, fighting back tears. And she seemed amazed – and tickled – that her grandmother got both her tattoos in her seventies.

When she finished, three of Nan’s other grandkids spoke. They expressed childlike delight in Susan’s “boundless energy and appetite for adventure.” They told the mourners how they loved that, “no grandchild’s game, play or project was too small to warrant a road trip.” And how, when two of Susan’s granddaughters ran the most recent NYC Marathon, “Susan scrambled from borough to borough on foot, cab, and subway to catch as many sightings as she could of her two granddaughters running.”

About about those tattoos…one of them was on her ankle. It said, simply written in beautiful cursive, “Grace.” When I saw it a couple years ago, I asked Susan why “grace” and, without missing a beat, she said, “Because that’s what we all need.”

You know, we Victory Chicks are sometimes admonished to “act your age” and dress “age appropriate.” Okay advice if you feel like moving into [what I call] Alfred Dunner style. Susan didn’t. She didn’t act her age. If she felt like swimming and didn’t have a bathing suit, she’d take off her shirt and swim in shorts and a bra. Susan’s no-holds-barred behaviors served her until the day she died.

What about you? Are you tired of acting your age? Do you find being “age appropriate” makes you feel bored out of your mind.
As you head into the New Year, here are three ideas for bucking the system and putting some jazz back in your life:

1 – Do something you thought was too late to do

What do you regret missing out on when you were younger? Some event or travel, starting a business, getting a certain degree? Susan got her Master’s Degree in midlife and, in like manner, I know one midlife Victory Chick who is studying for the LSATs with the intention of becoming a lawyer. Yes, she won’t have the career she might have had at thirty, but at sixty, with more experience, more compassion, less need to get to the top, etc., she will help people in a way she never could have in the past.
Or what about finally writing that book you always said was in you? Take a class, join a writer’s group, make an outline…whatever small step you take, do it!
What is it that your age is saying it’s too late to do? Screw it – do it anyway!

2 – Learn something new.

Neuroscientists say that you can create new pathways in your brain. If old ones are dying off, learning something new can make a difference. You can learn another language, take up quilting, become an expert in local history, study astrology or spiritualism, or anything else that you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to doing

3 – Revisit your childhood

Go back to your old neighborhood and see what’s still around…and who. What do those old streets make you think of? What did you and your friends talk about when  you shared your dreams for when you grew up?
Were you a reader? Then  make a goal to read the entire Nancy Drew series again, or Little Women, or something that will remind you what you dreamed about in those days.
If none of these things tickle your fancy, what does?

The truth is, age matters when you make it matter.

If you have the ability to do something and the willingness to take action, you can do it. Sure, it might take you a little longer than it might have twenty or thirty years ago. So what?

Don’t forget, now you have more self-confidence, polish, people skills, and lots of other things you didn’t have then. Maybe in those days, not having those things kept you from being your best self – and having your best life.

And, one of two things will happen: if you die, you will die doing something you love. If you don’t die, you’ll make your life richer, love it more, feel good, and have something to look back on when you are older.

Here’s your second chance – or third or fourth. What do you want to do that you think you’re too old to do? Take out a piece of paper right now and jot down a couple ideas. Then DO something.

If you need a way to get started, and some support, you can get it with me at the Savvy Sizzle Master Class. Take a look at what I have for you…and sign up today!

You can find me here: VictoriousWoman.com, on FB @VictoriousWomanProject, or on Twitter@AnnmarieKelly

# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

What if you had another 50 years to live?

What’s YOUR What If???


WHAT IF.… you knew you would live to be 120 years old, and in good health – or mostly good health – almost to the end? What would change for you? It’s an important question to be asking NOW, before holiday fun distracts you, so you can get ready for 2019 and start the New Year as your strongest and most empowered Victory Chick.

Start a ‘What if…’ List

I started my “What if…” list over the summer while Joseph and I were negotiating our new marriage agreements for our new Five-Year Marriage™. And I’m excited!

Your life could change at any moment

And, yes, I don’t live in la-la land. Anything can happen. The truth is that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. But you know what? Tomorrow wasn’t promised to you when you were a teenager, or when you turned 21, or 40, 50, or 60. One of my close girlfriends died in a house fire at 23. Joseph’s best friend, the best man at our first wedding, died of a heart attack the month after turning 50. Yes, you don’t know what can happen. It could be bad…but, also, it could be really good!!

You’re life could also extend for MANY more years than you expect

Think about it…between modern science and replacement parts, maybe you WILL live to be in good health until you are 120. And, if you do, you really don’t want to look back on this time of your life and say, “I wish I had…” That’s what all the women in the retirement community told a psychologist Friday Happy Hour guest. They said that, if they knew they were going to live as long as they had (80’s & 90’s), they would have started new projects and done other things.

How to prevent regrets in old age

Here is how you can empower yourself to live a “no regrets” life:

  1. Get Started. The easiest way to start is to ask yourself, “I wish I had…” Some of the answers I’ve heard my clients say include things like, I wish I…
    • Started my own business
    • Opened a bridal salon
    • Gotten a divorce
    • Traveled more
    • Hadn’t stopped playing the guitar and singing
    • Learned another language
    • Written down the family history for my grand kids
    • Written my memoir
    • Focused on art (I was really good at that when I was a kid). I wish I took classes then
    • Hadn’t given up crafting pottery
    • had more meaningful things in my life so that my kids wouldn’t always presume I’m always available for babysitting and, if I say “no,” make me feel guilty.
    • Your turn: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had ____________________”
  2. Play! 
    • Complete this sentence: “I just found out that I’m going to live to be 120 years old! Now I know I have time to _______________________”
      • Write everything down that comes into your head.
      • FYI: do this over a few days or a week. Your mind may need some time to know it “has permission” to think outside the box.
    • Have some fun with this! 
  3. Take Action
    OK, look at what you wrote with the belief that you’ll live to 120. You know it’s not too late yet. What can you do about that wish now?When you allow yourself to be empowered, you can do anything. Here are some ideas, both active and passive. You can…
    • Take a class at your local community college
    • Volunteer in the field
    • Meet and talk to some people who are doing it. If you don’t know anyone, you can go to a meeting of a professional association or a group or meetup focused on that special interest
    • Read books on that subject
    • Look for people online who do it and read their blogs
      • There is a wealth of knowledge online. You can listen to TedTalks, podcasts, and virtual summits or get signup for seminars and workshops (‘ll be doing another Savvy Sizzle in January).
    • Have breakfast or lunch with someone who is already doing it

Pursing your dreams adds excitement to your life!

One midlife woman just told me she’s going to take the LSATs with the intention of going to law school. She isn’t sure what she’ll do with it, but already a couple ideas popped into her head – possibilities she probably would never have considered without the impetus of this new direction. And she’s excited. Her new wish-fulfillment idea is clearing about cobwebs in her mind. She’s made a couple new choices that will better position her to take action.

Follow your passions to fill your life with happiness

Another midlife woman just got her degree in acupuncture. She started when her last kid was a junior in college. It took her a really long time to finish. Now she has a small office, and she loves it – especially when she can use acupuncture to help young women get pregnant (without using fertility drugs). In fact, she loves it so much, I’m betting she’s going to make fertility the “specialty” in her practice.

Keep track of your progress

4 – Watch what happens next

Once you get started in a direction, your life starts to move. Keep a journal because things will start to happen. Maybe it’ll be something on a TV show that will jog a thought in your mind. Or someone will start a conversation that gives you a new angle on your “what if…”
What one thirty-something woman told me was that she was just going along trying to figure things out. Then it got clear. How she explained it was, “one day my life just shifted.”

So keep a journal…you’re going to find it fascinating in a few months!

In January I’ll be starting another Savvy Sizzle workshop. I’ll be sharing more with you over the next two months…but here’s what I’ll be doing: Savvy Sizzle MasterClass

Look for more information in future posts! and be sure to join my newsletter! I send out lots of helpful tips and free tools. Click here to join.

# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

RadioWrap-Up.4.6.18: Lisa Scottoline

lisa scottoline on the friday Happy Hour w annmarie kellyAuthor Lisa Scottoline needs no introduction, especially with her fervent fans in Chester County. She is The New York Times bestselling author and Edgar award-winning author of 31 novels, including her latest work, AFTER ANNA. She also writes a weekly column with her daughter Francesca Serritella for the Philadelphia Inquirer titled “Chick Wit” which is a witty and fun take on life from a woman’s perspective.
Lisa is coming to the Friday Happy Hour to talk with me about her newest novel, After Anna. I’ll also be asking her about Rosato and DiNunzio, and stories from her weekly column in The Philadelphia Inquirer….and more! If you love Lisa, you won’t want to miss this Friday’s Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly. Learn more about Lisa on her website: https://scottoline.com
Friday Happy Hour Listeners: If you missed the show, you can listen to the podcast: Victory Chicks Radio
You can find After Anna on Amazon: After Anna/Hard Copy and After Anna/Kindle
If you want to see Lisa, she’s doing a lot of signings around town:

  • April 15 – Barnes and Noble in Exton, 4pm
  • April 22 – Costco King of Pussia , 12-2pm
  • More

I talked about

Annmarie is “live” every Friday, from 3-4pm EST.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

You won’t want to miss Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly …and you don’t have to!

  • In West Chester PA: turn your radio dial to 1520AM
  • Anywhere in the world: listen online from at www.WCHE1520.com (click the microphone that says “listen live” – uses Windows Media Player).
  • On your mobile devices at Tune-In Radio.Call-in: 610-701-9243

Not sure when Annmarie is on in your time zone? Find out here: Time Zone Converter
Miss a show? Catch up on the VICTORY CHICKS RADIO podcasts! Now on YouTube!

RadioWrap-Up.3.23.18: Menopause

menopause expert Irene HoganPerimenopause, menopause, osteoporosis, aging, sex after menopause. They’re all topics that intimately affect us as women, but we don’t like talking about them. That fascinates pharmacist and menopause expert Irene Hogan because its what she talks about most. Irene believes that aging does not mean that your body has to fall apart or succumb to chronic disease. She helps women put more life into their menopausal and post-menopausal years (and not just years into their) lives – and this week she’s helping us Victory Chicks do it!
If you want a free download of the book, or to purchase it on Kindle, go here: HotChixHotSex
Learn more about Irene at www.hotchixshotsex.com and www.IreneHogan.com and find her on fb  https://www.facebook.com/menopausehelp/
Here’s the article that includes the videos of the 100+ year-old runners: Washington Post
And tune-in on Monday when I’m the guest of Shaman Anumani on Facebook Live

Annmarie is “live” every Friday, from 3-4pm EST.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

You won’t want to miss Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly …and you don’t have to!

  • In West Chester PA: turn your radio dial to 1520AM
  • Anywhere in the world: listen online from at www.WCHE1520.com (click the microphone that says “listen live” – uses Windows Media Player).
  • On your mobile devices at Tune-In Radio.Call-in: 610-701-9243

Not sure when Annmarie is on in your time zone? Find out here: Time Zone Converter
Miss a show? Catch up on the VICTORY CHICKS RADIO podcasts! Now on YouTube!

RadioWrap-Up.12.15.17.Women, Retirement and Money

Women are statistically more likely to have a longer life span, and so, a longer retirement than men. Are you financially prepared for that? If not, tune into to the Friday Happy Hour

with Annmarie Kelly and Financial Journalist Erin Arvedlund. Erin has been writing on the topic of money and retirement for years, including for Barron’s and The Philadelphia Inquirer. Now she’s coming to the Friday Happy Hour with suggestions for how to get your financial house in order in the new year. Erin will also share some of her tips for preventing getting ripped of – things she learned while investigating the infamous Bernie Madoff for her book Too Good To Be True: The Rise and Fall of Bernie Madoff. You won’t want to miss this show!

Find her at The Philadelphia Inquirer, and also at https://erinarvedlund.wordpress.com and https://twitter.com/erinarvedlund

Get Erin’s book about Bernie Madoff: Too Good To Be True

Here are the two articles I mentioned about adult gift-giving:

USA Today
QZ.com

 

Annmarie is “live” every Friday, from 3-4pm EST.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

You won’t want to miss Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly …and you don’t have to!

  • In West Chester PA: turn your radio dial to 1520AM
  • Anywhere in the world: listen online from at www.WCHE1520.com (click the microphone that says “listen live” – uses Windows Media Player).
  • On your mobile devices at Tune-In Radio.Call-in: 610-701-9243

Not sure when Annmarie is on in your time zone? Find out here: Time Zone Converter
Miss a show? Catch up on the VICTORY CHICKS RADIO podcasts! Now on YouTube!

RadioWrap-Up.9.22.17.NextChapters

Do you wonder about your next chapters – or next chapters?
Carol Gee has had more careers than most women. She spent twenty years in the Air Force, twenty years in education and, in her “retirement” started her own business. She has a great sense of humor about life’s ups and downs. And Carol is almost-obsessive about people living their passion – at any age. And she and Annmarie Kelly are talking about it all at the week’s Friday Happy Hour.
Carol Gee, M.A., is a longtime educator (Emory University)-turned freelance writer and book author. She is also the owner of a small one-woman writing service, A Feast Of Words, LLC. Gee also served over 21 years in the military. In February, 2017 she and her husband were featured in an Essence Magazine article, “Stand By His Health.” You can find more about Carol at the Venus Chronicles and join her on FB.
I hope you can join me at The Pyramid Club in Philly when I’m talking about The Five-Year Marriage™. You can register here: Meet the Author
Missed a show or want to listen to a past show? You can do it online at Victory Chicks Radio And when you get there, please subscribe so I can claim the Victory Chicks Radio url..THANKS!
Do you have kids or grandkids who are musically inclined? Have them join in one of the Kids Music Days in our area.

Annmarie is “live” every Friday, from 3-4pm EST.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

You won’t want to miss Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly …and you don’t have to!

  • In West Chester PA: turn your radio dial to 1520AM
  • Anywhere in the world: listen online from at www.WCHE1520.com (click the microphone that says “listen live” – uses Windows Media Player).
  • On your mobile devices at Tune-In Radio.Call-in: 610-701-9243

Not sure when Annmarie is on in your time zone? Find out here: Time Zone Converter
Miss a show? Catch up on the VICTORY CHICKS RADIO podcasts! Now on YouTube!