March's Deep Pause

Corona-19 has flipped the world upsidedown. It’ll be a apart of your history – women’s history – forever. Most people are scared…sheltering in place, keeping their distance from one another, living on FB and Instagram.
You have a choice this month – to see what is happening both globally and in your world – as devastation or opportunity, If you choose the latter – and I hope you do – you can emerge from this difficult time on the plus side.

FOCUS ON YOU

You know how you’re always so busy? If it isn’t some work thing, it’s a social something. You keep wanting to focus on you and your goals, but then you get distracted by something else or somebody else. But now that you’re in A mandatory deep pause…here’s you opportunity!
I remember Annie, a woman I talk about in Victorious Woman. The fun-loving sixty-something woman was diagnosed with cancer. The thing that would have jazzed her into fighting for her life was opening a bridal shop. When she told her spouse, kids, and friends, everyone laughed. SO, instead of designing a life she wanted, she went into the default position; she died.
On the other hand, Victorious Woman Pattie Painter, also in her sixties and diagnosed with multiple cancers, chose design. When she got well, she designed a new life as a wedding celebrant. She’s been performing weddings both locally and at different destinations for years…and having a wonderful time.

So what is it for you?

Have you been trying to design your own meditation practice? Start today with just five minutes. In two weeks you can build up to ten minutes…and in a month you’ll have designed a new healthy habit.
What do you want to do next month, next week, next year? What did you miss in the past that you want to do now? Is it a new skill or learning? What about that business you’ve always talked about? Or is there a fabulous trip (for next year…not now!)?  Have you always wanted to visit the original seven wonders of the world or the NEW wonders, or the top ten National Parks in the US? Maybe you’ve dreamed of tossing a coin in Italy’s Trevi fountain, having dinner at the Eiffel Tower, seeing Stonehenge, or meditating with a yogi at a Himalayan spa.
This “deep pause” is giving you time to focus on what’s in your heart of hearts. Make the most of it!

Looking for social connect during the quarantine?

  1. Join the Victory Chicks Community – a private Facebook group
  2. Follow our social media accounts for inspiration and interesting information
    Instagram, Facebook, Youtube
  3. Join the Victorious Woman Mailing List:
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Hate Your Job?

midlife women starting life over, be happy
What if YOU Live to be 100?

I hate my job and I hate working. If it wasn’t for the money and the medical benefits, I’d quit now.
Are you one of the many women who feel that way? Not so fast. One of the secrets to a long and healthy life might just be work – work you LOVE.

Passions are your key to happiness

Marilee Shapiro Asher was still sculpting and making art at 103 while living in her Washington DC retirement community. She told readers of her autobiography, published when Marilee was 102, “I have no personal philosophy of art, I do it because there is nothing else I would rather be doing.

Mabel Sawhill, in her third career, catered events. She was around so long that she catered some couple’s weddings AND their 50th anniversaries! When she died in her sleep at age 103, she still had catering gigs, and people yearned for her sticky buns and chicken salad. Her longevity secret: to be engaged and find delight in everything life had to offer.

Honey Canney started teaching water aerobics in 1972. She she was in her early sixties then. She still teaches those classes three times a week -at 103! Though she is nearly blind as a result of macular degeneration, she finds the water gives her freedom. And, she says, “I can be of some use to somebody and not sit around and suck my thumb. I miss the things I can’t do, but I kinda dwell on the ones I can do.

For Rose Torphy, 103-year-old great grandmother loves helping to preserve one of America the Beautiful’s crowing glories, the Grand Canyon – which was formed 100 years ago, when Rose was just a little girl!. When she was recently inducted as a Grand Canyon junior ranger, Rose told Good Morning America.“I am so happy someone is watching over it so that my great-great-grandchildren can visit it someday too.”

What’s your passion?

If you knew for sure that you were going to live to be 100, what would you do differently? Would you get that law degree or satisfy your love of animals by becoming a veterinarian? Maybe you’d start your own business, become a teacher or a psychologist?

What fabulous itch is just dying to be scratched?

Whatever it is, take the first step today. Do some online research, connect with someone who is already doing it, make a vision board and start dreaming.

And you can join me for the next Savvy Sizzle Master Class. Sign up for my newsletter and be the first to get info for the next one.

# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

What if….?

What’s YOUR What If???

WHAT IF.… you knew you would live to be 120 years old, and in good health – or mostly good health – almost to the end? What would change for you? It’s an important question to be asking NOW, before holiday fun distracts you, so you can get ready for 2019 and start the New Year as your strongest and most empowered Victory Chick.
I started my “What if…” list over the summer while Joseph and I were negotiating our new marriage agreements for our new Five-Year Marriage™. And I’m excited!
And, yes, I don’t live in la-la land. Anything can happen. The truth is that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. But you know what? Tomorrow wasn’t promised to you when you were a teenager, or when you turned 21, or 40, 50, or 60. One of my close girlfriends died in a house fire at 23. Joseph’s best friend, the best man at our first wedding, died of a heart attack the month after turning 50. Yes, you don’t know what can happen. It could be bad…but, also, it could be really good!!
Think about it…between modern science and replacement parts, maybe you WILL live to be in good health until you are 120. And, if you do, you really don’t want to look back on this time of your life and say, “I wish I had…” That’s what all the women in the retirement community told a psychologist Friday Happy Hour guest. They said that, if they knew they were going to live as long as they had (80’s & 90’s), they would have started new projects and done other things.
Here is how you can empower yourself to live a “no regrets” life:

  1. Get Started. The easiest way to start is to ask yourself, “I wish I had…” Some of the answers I’ve heard my clients say include things like, I wish I…
    • Started my own business
    • Opened a bridal salon
    • Gotten a divorce
    • Traveled more
    • Hadn’t stopped playing the guitar and singing
    • Learned another language
    • Written down the family history for my grand kids
    • Written my memoir
    • Focused on art (I was really good at that when I was a kid). I wish I took classes then
    • Hadn’t given up crafting pottery
    • had more meaningful things in my life so that my kids wouldn’t always presume I’m always available for babysitting and, if I say “no,” make me feel guilty.
    • Your turn: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had ____________________”
  2. Play! 
    • Complete this sentence: “I just found out that I’m going to live to be 120 years old! Now I know I have time to _______________________”
      • Write everything down that comes into your head.
      • FYI: do this over a few days or a week. Your mind may need some time to know it “has permission” to think outside the box.
    • Have some fun with this! 
  3. Take Action
    OK, look at what you wrote with the belief that you’ll live to 120. You know it’s not too late yet. What can you do about that wish now?When you allow yourself to be empowered, you can do anything. Here are some ideas, both active and passive. You can…

    • Take a class at your local community college
    • Volunteer in the field
    • Meet and talk to some people who are doing it. If you don’t know anyone, you can go to a meeting of a professional association or a group or meetup focused on that special interest
    • Read books on that subject
    • Look for people online who do it and read their blogs
      • There is a wealth of knowledge online. You can listen to TedTalks, podcasts, and virtual summits or get signup for seminars and workshops (‘ll be doing another Savvy Sizzle in January).
    • Have breakfast or lunch with someone who is already doing it

One midlife woman just told me she’s going to take the LSATs with the intention of going to law school. She isn’t sure what she’ll do with it, but already a couple ideas popped into her head – possibilities she probably would never have considered without the impetus of this new direction. And she’s excited. Her new wish-fulfillment idea is clearing about cobwebs in her mind. She’s made a couple new choices that will better position her to take action.
Another midlife woman just got her degree in acupuncture. She started when her last kid was a junior in college. It took her a really long time to finish. Now she has a small office, and she loves it – especially when she can use acupuncture to help young women get pregnant (without using fertility drugs). In fact, she loves it so much, I’m betting she’s going to make fertility the “specialty” in her practice.
4 – Watch what happens next
Once you get started in a direction, your life starts to move. Keep a journal because things will start to happen. Maybe it’ll be something on a TV show that will jog a thought in your mind. Or someone will start a conversation that gives you a new angle on your “what if…”
What one thirty-something woman told me was that she was just going along trying to figure things out. Then it got clear. How she explained it was, “one day my life just shifted.”
So keep a journal…you’re going to find it fascinating in a few months!
In January I’ll be starting another Savvy Sizzle workshop. I’ll be sharing more with you over the next two months…but here’s what I’ll be doing: Savvy Sizzle MasterClass
Look for more information in future posts!
# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

RadioWrap-Up.12.8.17 How to Have a Good Day

In the midst of this busy holiday season, you might be too stressed to enjoy each day. That’s why Annmarie Kelly asked Caroline Webb to join her – that and also that Caroline has great tips for how to set priorities, intentions and goals for the new year.
Caroline is the author of How to Have a Good Day, the CEO of Sevenshift, a McKinsey Senior Adviser and arenowned leadership coach – and she’s on a mission to show you how behavioral science can transform your life and work for the better. This show will help you through the holiday stress and get you ready for your goals in the new year.

You can find out more about Caroline at Website:

https://carolinewebb.co/
Facebook: @CarolineWebbAuthor
Twitter: @Caroline_Webb_ 

And here’s a quick YouTube talk by Caroline on Realistic Optimism

Annmarie is “live” every Friday, from 3-4pm EST.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

You won’t want to miss Happy Hour with Annmarie Kelly …and you don’t have to!

  • In West Chester PA: turn your radio dial to 1520AM
  • Anywhere in the world: listen online from at www.WCHE1520.com (click the microphone that says “listen live” – uses Windows Media Player).
  • On your mobile devices at Tune-In Radio.Call-in: 610-701-9243

Not sure when Annmarie is on in your time zone? Find out here: Time Zone Converter
Miss a show? Catch up on the VICTORY CHICKS RADIO podcasts! Now on YouTube!

1.6.17 RadioWrapUp: Your Plan B?

maryfarrWhat are you doing for your New year’s Resolutions? Mary Farr joined us at the Friday Happy Hour today to talk about your “Plan B” in 2017.  Mary Farr is an author, longtime pediatric hospital chaplain, and health care leader. She speaks and writes from years of experience fostering healing, hope, happiness and humor. You can visit her website at www.desire-to-inspire.net. Or Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/mary.farr.524
Mary’s recently released book, The Promise in Plan B features heartfelt stories of ordinary people finding resilience and joy in the next chapter of their life journeys.
I talked about my trip to Washington DC and New Year’s Eve at the new Knauer Center for the Performing Arts. Here was a pictures from DC and New Year’s Eve.

Kennedy Center Theater
Kennedy Center Theater

 
 
President Box at Kennedy Center
President Box at Kennedy Center

NewYear at Uptown
NewYear at Uptown

?
Uptown Dancing on NewYear’s Eve

For pix of President Obama’s new house on Kalamora Avenue in the Adams Morgan section of DC.
 

Today’s quote is from Mary Farr’s book, The Promise in Plan B:

It is the journey, the exodus from the old self to the new,
that empowers us to explore life, challenge life, make friends with life,
poke fun at life, and finally, with courage and good humor,
travel the path that moves us closer to becoming the person we were meant to be – to live the life that wants to live in us.”


Keep in touch through the week by joining me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/victoriouswomanproject/

12.16.15 RadioWrapUp: Astrology and Mercury Retrograde

joanetteNow that you know what Mercury Retrograde does and how you can minimize its downside and get the most out of it, you probably want to know when it’s happening. Astrologer Joanette McGeoch is passing along next year’s dates:

  • December 19th 2016 – January 8th 2017
  • April 9th 2017 – May 3rd 2017
  • August 12th 2017 – September 5th 2017
  • December 2nd 2017 – December 22nd 2017

If you want to get an astrology chart done by Joanette, this is a good time. The cost is going up significantly in the new year. BUT Joanette will hold the current chart fee of $60 for Happy Hour listeners for the rest of this year. Send Joanette an email and tell her you heard her on the Friday Happy Hour. You can reach her at joanette36@gmail.com
I talked about two Terry Gross/Fresh Air shows, and I posted both those interviews here for you:

Today’s quote comes from Eleanor Catton, who said about astrology:

The way that I see astrology is as
a repository of thought and psychology.
A system we’ve created as a culture
as way to make things mean things
.

12.9.16 Dirty Words on the Friday Happy Hour

51fvkrhefjl mary-fran-bontempo-author-speaker-humoristIf you’re not ready for granny panties, and you’re using “dirty words” that undercut your power, you want to  tune in this Friday. Humorist Mary Fran Bontempo has an inspiring message from her Woman’s Book of Dirty Words, about how to clean up your self-talk and move toward vibrant, productive, and  joyful lives.
Learn more about her: Mary Fran Bontempo, and check out Mary’s first book, Not Ready for Granny Panties. And Check out Mary’s first book, Not Ready for Granny Panties 
Want to join me in January in Wayne PA for my in-person workshop? We’re still in early bird pricing: Savvy Sizzle Workshop?
Can’t join me in person, but what the help and support you can get to make 2017 your best year yet? Join me from the comfort of you home: Savvy Sizzle Teleseminar
I told my Happy Hour listeners that a $200 off coupon is coming to my FB page. Get it starting next week: Victorious Woman Project
Tune into the Friday Happy Hour at 3pm on West Chester PA local AM radio 1520, online at WCHE-AM  and on yourmobile devices at Tune-In Radio.
Call-in: 610-701-9243

Thanksgiving PEEPS? Get Some Now!

Gratitude Peeps
Thanksgiving PEEPS?

November is here, Thanksgiving is in a couple weeks. Before things start getting “crazy-busy” for the holidays, how about taking a few minutes for Gratitude Attitude reminder?
I’m not talking about just saying thank you to someone (though that never hurts). I’m talking about your gratitude attitude.
I first became fascinated with Gratitude Attitude a long time ago. I was taking a class and the instructor announced that she was going to do a series on gratitude.
At the time I was in a difficult place in my life. I was teaching in a Catholic school making next to no money and had just moved into my first apartment – much to my old-school Italian parents’ chagrin. I could barely pay my rent, let alone buy food or pay my bills. My mother was waiting for me to fail so I’d have to beg her to move back home and my father wasn’t talking to me (he believed good Italian girls didn’t move out of their parents home until they married). I thought, “I’m struggling like crazy…what could I possibly be grateful for?”
But I continued with the class and did what Jeanne said…and my life changed. And my fascination with gratitude began as I started seeing gratitude as a “super power.”
Years later when I designed my Optimal Living and Victorious Woman (Savvy Sizzle) workshops, I have added one class that is a “magic” list – things that help my class members successfully realize their goals. Gratitude Attitude is one of them.
Later this month I’m presenting a luncheon keynote on Gratitude Attitude. I list the benefits of Gratitude Attitude, which I “anchor” with PEEPS. I know…PEEPS at Thanksgiving instead of Easter seems odd, but here’s how they fit into your Gratitude Attitude:
P – Pressure: Specifically, blood pressure. When I first started practicing Gratitude Attitude, there weren’t any studies about the effect of gratitude on health. All the “proof” was anecdotal. But now there are A LOT of studies. Here are just few of the health benefits of Gratitude Attitude:

  • Lower blood pressure – 12% lower! That’s a lot – that could mean the difference between medication and no medication!
  • 10% fewer stress-related illnesses
  • Reduces toxic emotions – like envy, resentment and regret
  • And, after a few weeks of practicing Gratitude Attitude, a 30% reduction in symptoms of depression

E – EXPANSION. When I took that first course, thirty-some years ago, I didn’t know how it would work. But I wanted to believe it would…and it did. Over the next few years, I left teaching and I got another job, and then I changed jobs again. With each change, I made more money. I moved from my tiny apartment to a bigger one in a corner home in a nicer neighborhood across the street from a small park. I bought a new car, nicer clothes and new furniture. Then I bought my first house – something that wasn’t so common for single women in the 1980’s.
n the process of all that, I changed. I was happier, not so angry all the time and I stopped feeling like a victim. most importantly, I felt like my life had possibilities that, until them, I never imagined I had.
Journalist and author Janice Kaplan found the same thing. A few years ago she started a one-year study that led her to write The Gratitude Diaries. She said gratitude transformed her ordinary year into glorious. She calls gratitude “Vitamin G.”
E – Empowerment. Gratitude attitude tames the “not good enoughs” – you know, I’m not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough…all the “I’m not good enoughs” that sabotage your dreams and goals.
Maybe there’s something you’ve been holding yourself back from doing because you’ve been telling yourself you don’t have enough skill, enough smarts, aren’t ballsy enough – pick any one of your “not enough” self-sabotages. Gratitude Attitude helps clear that crap from your head and reminds you that you ARE enough.
For me, from the beginning of using Gratitude Attitude, I started seeing that I had the power to make my life better. It wasn’t all about what was going on “outside” with other people having all the power and control. It was something that gave me power and control because it was happening inside of me.
No one can control what goes on in the (literally) awesome space between your ears. That space is all yours. You can give yourself permission to do things you might not have thought you could do. It inspires and energizes you to go forward – and that’s empowering!
P – Purpose. When your Gratitude Attitude clears out the cobwebs, you see your past, present and future more clearly and move with a greater sense of purpose in your life.
S – Satisfaction. You can do your own study for this one! Think about it: Gratitude Attitude improves your health, expands your thinking and your life, empowers you, and keeps you living with and purpose. With all those good things, how can you NOT have greater satisfaction???
Want some of those PEEPS in your life, stay tuned for some “how-to’s” in my next post.
In the meantime, you can get a head start by looking for the good that’s right where you are.
And THANKS for reading this post!
 

Mid-Year Tune-Up for Your 2016 Goals

Tortoise and Hare
Tortoise and Hare (bethmusicnotes.blogspot)

Ever feel like your goals need a tune-up? I do! And, for me, it’s now!
It was just after the July 4th weekend when I did a personal mid-year check-up. I found myself falling short on this year’s goals. I needed a kick in the butt.
As I thought about it, I started thinking that if I, who am good at achieving my goals, am in this boat in July, I’m guessing the Victory Chicks in my Victory Chicks Community are too.  So I decided to host a fee-free teleseminar at the end of the month so we can all get back on track.
One of the things I’ll be talking about is picking just one thing. I’m focusing on that first because (1) it’s my own personal greatest goal-achieving foible and (2) multiple goals (an off-shoot of multi-tasking), is what women tell me is their problem.
Here’s the thing: if you have too many goals, you don’t focus on any one. So you’re busy doing multiple tasks, but never finish enough of the steps to actually reach a goal. That’s when you say, “yeah, I started doing that, but I only got halfway finished.” And that’s because, when you don’t focus on just one goal, you are easily distracted. In a survey I did with women last year, distractions were listed as the #1 reason for not achieving your goals or fulfilling your needs and desires.The first glint of that shiny penny out of the corner of your eye and you’re off to the races with it.
It’s almost like the tortoise and the hare. I know that the “slow and steady wins the race” fable, but think of it another way: The hare is like you at the beginning of the year when you list a bunch of “New Year, new me” goals. You’re excited, you’re really motivated and get a good strong start. It’s the “New You” and you’re on your way.
But, much like the hare in the fable, you wear yourself out and decide to take a break.After all, you’ve worked hard and this other (shiny penny) thing looks like fun. And you deserve a little fun, right? So you take a break.
Before you know it, you notice that the people around you who, like to fabled tortoise, focused on just one goal, and took one step after the other, have gotten ahead of you. By now the fruits of their labor are starting to show. They completed their goal or are so well on their way that you get discouraged (and maybe a little envious).
If you recognize that experience (I certainly do for myself!), then consider this: Maybe there isn’t enough jazz in that goal to keep you going. What I mean is, did you do the What’s In It For Me (WII-FM) part? There’s a direct relationship between behavior, emotion, and understanding and how your brain functions. It’s called neuropsychology.  The success of every single goal rests on the answer to the WII-FM question. You need to have a laundry list of WII-FM’s and you need to look at that list every day.
That’s one of the things I’ll be talking about in this month’s free teleseminar, You Mid-Year Check-Up on July 28 at 1pmDST, 10amPST.
Interested? Register here: Savvy Sizzle: The Mid-Year Tune-Up
If you’re reading this after July 28, sign up for my free newsletter so you;ll know when I’m having my next teleseminar and all my upcoming workshops.

Pump Up the Power #6

ThankYouPractice Extreme Gratitude

Gratitude is saying thank-you for something you receive. Extreme gratitude is being conscious of all the good that is all around you. It’s being connected to your good in a way that uplifts your spirit and changes your thinking, which changes your life.
“Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, regular physical examinations,” explains psychologist Robert Emmons, a pioneer in gratitude research.
On the other hand, people who are not grateful feel like they are being cheated out of something. Because they feel that way, they’re always doing things or buying things or being someone they aren’t. The will do anything they can think of to fill the void inside of them. But the  void is like a black hole – no matter how you try to fill it, that space is never filled.
Research shows that extreme gratitude – that old “count your blessings” adage – puts you in a power position in two ways.

  • Since you know that good happens in your life, when something not so good happens, you can deal with it better.
  • By reminding yourself that good things are happening all the time, you develop feelings of hope and optimism, which leads to greater confidence. That becomes your POWER.

So get some of that extreme gratitude energy going. Here’s what to do:
Start your day by writing down five things that you’re grateful for. That’s it. It’s a simple exercise. If you want, you can write in a notebook (a Gratitude Journal). From time to time, you can reflect on what you wrote. Also, during times when five things are hard to think of, your notes will tickle your gratitude memory.
When you do gratitude the first thing in the morning, you are choosing a positive direction for your day. When you do it for thirty days, you form a new habit. New, positive habits will change your life for the better.
If you aren’t convinced yet, consider the extra bonus: Research shows that all that positive energy boosts your immune system and helps you fight actual disease.