Like so many of you strong, independent women, I didn’t want to lose my personal power or my sense of self when I got married. I saw it happen over and over again with my girlfriends. Those relationships would crush their spirits – sometimes ending in divorce, sometimes ‘living together loneliness’.
It seems like everyone goes into marriage because they want that ‘happily ever after‘ but hardly anyone ever experiences it.
When he popped the Big Question…
I had a significant other who wanted marriage – and he made his intentions clear… more than once.
But I couldn’t get past all the disappointment I saw in my girlfriends’ experience with their marriages. I started to think something unspoken and unpleasant happened when they said, “I do”. It didn’t show up right away, but after some time, it seemed like a weight was on their shoulders, one that slowly got heavier and heavier as time went on. I decided that wasn’t going to happen to me!
Forget the Ball & Chain!
So when my partner asked me to marry him, I took a lot of time before giving him my answer. I eventually said yes, but on one condition – it would only be for five years.
Here’s How Our Marriage Works
As we near the end of a five-year marriage, we evaluate our relationship, we share where we want to go in the next five years, and we decide if we want to go there together. Then we make plans. We think about our agreements – what works and what doesn’t – and we create new agreements or renegotiate old ones. Then we “spiritually” end the marriage and start fresh – with a ceremony and sometimes with a party.
This ensures that if our relationship becomes a heavyweight on either of our shoulders, neither of us gets dragged down. This allows us to adapt to change and deal with all the difficult challenges life throws at us. We don’t get lost or lose our sense of self. We support each other and work together.
I’ve been married SEVEN times… to the same man… for five years at a time.
We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary (of our 7th marriage) – that would be our 33rd wedding anniversary if we had a traditional marriage.
Each of our marriages has:
- been a unique experience
- had at least one tough challenge – money, business, caregiving, health, hitting a “wall” that led us to counseling
- tested our partnership
And most important of all – each one of our marriages has:
- strengthened our love for each other
Try the Five-Year Marriage!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married a long time, recently got married, or just got engaged, the Five-Year Marriage® can be started anytime! If you want to design a relationship with the one you love that makes you both accountable and responsible you need to learn more about the Five-Year Marriage®! It’s based on intention, boundaries, and accountability – the stuff that protects and grows mutual respect, love, and true intimacy so that both of you are empowered and neither of you gets left behind.
Here’s your next steps:
- Watch this Free Webinar: Free Relationship Reset Webinar
- Grab a copy of the book: The Five-Year Marriage: Shifting the Marriage Paradigm