Is Someone Stepping on Your Toes?

boundaries for midlife happiness

Stepping on your toes, invading your space, crossing a line, ignoring your wishes – whatever you call it, when somebody does it to you, it feels bad. It means they went beyond your personal limits, also known as boundaries. Your boundaries are a reflection of your personal Identity. They define who you are and area measure of your self-worth.

Boundaries are Important for Women’s Empowerment

Boundaries are important for you to have. When someone doesn’t respect them, it says that person doesn’t respect you. You feel like you don’t matter.

Also, and more often than you – or anyone – would like to admit, when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, you feel powerless, even unsafe. Safety is a too-often unexpressed or hidden fear, especially in women.

In the workplace, it could be anything from office gossip or dumping extra work on you to asking you to do something inappropriate. In relationships it can include interrupting, over talking, muzzling, criticizing, yelling, and physical violence….and those are just the big ones.

When it happens to you, what do you do? I used to suck it up. Then, in therapy, the therapist told me I had terrible boundaries. He was correct, and I knew it. I needed to make a change. I did.

If you know what I mean, and want to make a change too, read on…

How Midlife Women Can Create a New Boundary

The thing about boundaries is that very often you don’t know what your boundaries are. You can turn that around. Here are four steps you can take:

  1. Decide on the boundary or boundaries you want. Pick a period of time (a week or a month). Notice what happens and pay attention to how you feel. Do you have a co-worker who consistently interrupts you during meetings, You’re annoyed, yes, but why?
    Does one of your friends talk down to you, and when s/he does, you feel “less than” or stupid? Is it the words, the tone of voice, or something else?
    When you and your spouse argue, does s/he go from 0-10 on the anger scale fast and starts yelling? What happens inside you?
  2. Once you identify the offending behavior, figure out what you want instead. This is is important because  you can’t just complain. It’s unproductive. For example, you want the co-worker to hear you out before speaking, or your friend needs to change the tone, or nobody – not even your spouse – can yell at you.
  3. Decide how you will tell the offending person. When you have a boundary, you have to know what to do when someone crosses it. That can be a challenge – especially if you were raised in “good girl” mode. So you have to know what to say.
    Start by giving the other person the benefit of the doubt; many people don’t even recognize what they’re doing. So sometimes a simple “I don’t know if you realize it but you [behavior] and when that happens, it makes me feel [your reaction]. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t’ do that anymore.” Chances are that person will be surprised, and apologize. And then you can let them know that you’ll have to stop them if it happens again.
    If the offending behavior doesn’t change, create a signal –  word (like STOP!) or a gesture (Like a “talk to the hand” sign)
  4. Practice. Like anything you do in life, you aren’t going to get good at boundaries right off the bat. You’re likely to experience stressful signs, like a red face or fast heartbeat. That’s normal. It’ll get better with practice.

Live a Life You LOVE!

You deserve to live the life you love with a good sense of self-worth and the feeling of emotional and physical safety. Boundaries will go a very long way in giving those to you!
Start now! If you need help creating a life you love, check out my Savvy Sizzle “No Regrets” Workshop!

#victoriousWoman #Women’s Empowerment #MidlifeREinveniotn #confidnece #Self-Worth

Celebrating Them…and US!

Celebrating the 19th Amendment

What’s so good about today?

This month marks the 100th Anniversary of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote. The amendment was ratified on August 18, and certified on Aug. 26, 1920. 100 years ago today. 

It might not seem like so big a deal to people like us who were raised with the right to vote.
However, close your eyes for a moment and think of those women – like your great grandmothers, or even your grandmothers and great aunts. World War I had just ended and the world was living through a pandemic – with way fewer sources of information. They had to wait for the evening paper to find out anything.
For their whole lives, those women had almost no say in the decisions that impacted their lives. They grew up thinking only white men could vote – and had to watch as even the really dumb ones voted while so many smart women stayed silent.
Then the 19th Amendment was ratified and certified less than 70 days before the presidential election. It was new and exciting, and I’ll bet, a little scary.

The Big First Steps for Women’s Empowerment

The 19th Amendment was the beginning that changed everything for women – including you and me.

It’s history now, but here’s the thing: it didn’t happen fast. The 19th Amendment was over 100 years in the making. While some women stirred the pot of change for years, it wasn’t until 1848 that something “big” happened – the First Women’s Rights Convention in Seneca Falls, New York. The movers and shakers at that convention included Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and Susan B. Anthony.
They didn’t know it would take almost another hundred years to become the 19th Amendment. Or that they themselves would never get the right to vote.
You know who else never voted?

  • Clara Barton, the “Angel of the Battlefield.” She was instrumental in founding the American Red Cross, which is still strong and vibrant today.
  • Madame C.J. Walker, the first female self-made millionaire.
  • Elizabeth Blackwell, a British physician who became America’s first female doctor.
The list goes on and on – one smart Victorious Woman after the other kept plugging away – an uphill battle. They, too, had no end date (and no phones, FB – not even  washing machines or dishwashers!)  They just had a bunch a question marks.
They must have been exceptional women, yes? Actually…maybe not so much!

In her book, Founding Mothers, the late Cokie Roberts, explains it this way: “…as I got to know these women…I came to the conclusion that there’s nothing unique about them. They did – with great hardship, courage, pluck, sadness, joy, energy, and humor – what women did. They put one foot in front of the other in remarkable circumstances. They carried on.”
They did it then and we are doing it now – with courage, pluck, sadness, joy, energy, and humor.

Now It’s Our Turn to Create Change

We’ll change the way we school our kids. Tele-work and tele-health will be commonplace. Drive-in movies will be all the rage – again. Women running our country and companies will be the norm.
And couples will look back on the old way of marriage and think “how did any marriages ever survive without regularly resetting every five years?”
100 years from now, those women will be looking back at us and thinking “WOW – they must have been something!”
THAT’S what’s so good about today.
Let’s celebrate it! Call your BFF and toast the women from 100 years ago. Toast our pluckiness during this pandemic. Have some fun imagining what two women 100 years from now will be saying about us.
Cheers to all of us and each of us!
With love and in victory,
Annmarie
#WomensEmpowerment,  #FiveYearMarriage, # Victorious Woman Project, #LoveAndMarriage,  #AnnmarieKelly


Want to be part of the next new wave of paradigm-shifiting?
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Check out this inspiring book – Victorious Woman! Shaping Today’s Challenges into Personal Victories

May is Victorious Woman Month!


May is officially registered as Victorious Woman Month. It’s the reason why the annual celebration, The Girlfriend Gala is in May – except not this year!
Though I cancelled The Girlfriend Gala because of the Covid19 social distancing orders, I am still doing the annual Victory-a-Day Calendar. My crackerjack staff and I have updated some of the days to reflect our Covid19 Confinement.  We’ll be posting daily on the Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter. However, you can get the whole month right now by downloading it here:  Click Here to Download PDF

I hope you’ll join me in creating a small victory-a-day in May – 31 Days of Victory – and can’t we all use some victory right now?!? Join me and chime in on FB at VictoriousWomanProject.
Stay healthy!
With love and in victory,
Annmarie


Click Here to Download PDF

Freedom, Empowerment, and YOU

midlife women success, freedom, happiness
Freedom, Empowerment, and YOU


When I was a kid, my family went to Wildwood, New Jersey for the 4th of July. It was always this week because my father worked for the government, in procurement. The end of the fiscal year meant all departments had to spend all the money in their budget before June 30. If it wasn’t spent, departments risked not getting the same dollars in the next budget – when they may really need it.  So that money had to be spent…even if what was being bought was overpriced or not immediately needed.

My father had to sign off on those things…and he hated doing it. Also, most departments waited until close to the June 30 deadline to submit their stuff. As a result, during those last weeks, he often didn’t get home for dinner. And, when he did get home, his ulcer was acting up. Even as a kid I realized it was a stressful time for him.
Not for me!
My father’s stressful week signaled to me that it was almost time to go down the shore (to the beach, for those of you not from the Philly area).  We always left on the first Saturday after June 30. So, as soon as school got out in mid-June, my mind was on sand, surf, Morey’s Pier, Mack’s Pizza, and a “boardwalk sundae” – an interesting concoction that had everything sundae on a cone. And, oh yes, fireworks (still one of my favorite things).
As a kid, I didn’t think much about freedom. Of course I appreciated the historical significance. And my father was a Vet, and [what we now call] a Wounded Warrior. So I had some modern-day knowing about freedom. But it was more about “others” than me.

Then, at some point in my 20’s, after a broken engagement and its aftermath, something changed inside of me. Then I started fighting hard for my own independence. I wanted to stand on my own, to break free from some of the negative stuff of my history, to find my voice and be strong.

That’s when I started truly valuing my independence and the freedom it gave me – to be who I am and do what I want – including making my own mistakes and taking credit for my victories. In Victorious Woman-speak, I wanted to be an empowered woman…the first Victory Chick. 🙂

Of course, as you probably know, there’s a price for that. Not everyone gets happy when you assert your independence. However, the more you do it, the more comfortable you are with it and you don’t want to give it up.

It was much later that I realized that freedom is one of my top five values. The conscious awareness of my values was life-changing. In fact, I’ve noticed in my workshops, when someone consciously connects to her values, her life shifts in good directions. That’s probably why I post something about values so often on my Victorious Woman blog.

It’s also why, when Joseph wanted to get married, I suggested instead that we live together. And, when he still wanted to get married, my freedom value became the seed of The Five-Year Marriage®.

Do you ever think about your values? Do you notice them shifting over time? For example, health was always a value for me, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s inched  up on the list. Did you ever wonder what would you give up or stop doing…or start doing…if you fully honored your personal values?

Tomorrow, and through this weekend, I’m asking you to take a few minutes to think about freedom and independence – as a value – for you, as a woman. If you meditate, take it into your meditation. If you’re driving someplace, think about the cultures where women are not allowed to drive. If you’re chatting with some women, ask what they think is their personal experience freedom and empowerment.
Or maybe you just want to take some time to revisit your own values – something that can be particularly valuable if you are in some kind of transition.

Here are two articles that you might find helpful: What’s of Value to You? and Values and Bullies
I wish you a safe and victorious, and joyful Fourth of July – even if you are in another country.
With love and in victory,
Annmarie

#Values, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #FiveYearMarriage,

Is Hollywood Keeping Women Down?

Why is Hollywood painting strong midlife women as victims?

Jackson said he loved Ally. But he humiliated and demeaned her. It’s a “that’s what you get for trying to be a success” message to women.

Does Hollywood’s latest remake of A Star is Born make you nervous – for yourself or for your daughters? It makes me nervous!

The Typical Damsel in Distress Premise

You know the story – a very talented woman is busting it, but can’t seem to get a break. Then some man, a drug-addicted alcoholic star, gives her one…and she’s all starry-eyed because of it, and with him.

With that boost, she becomes a star. And, she decides with love and loyalty, that she’s save him from himself. But…she can’t.

Success Breeds Jealousy

Then, because he’s jealous or something, the guy embarrasses her in front of the whole world, stealing her thunder and ruining the biggest night of her life.

Afterward, he apologetically goes to rehab and gets clean. But, in the end, kills himself – leaving her guilt-ridden and forlorn. Wooo-hooo!!

The Successful Woman Portrayed as the Victim

Here’s the thing: At the end of that movie, you cry – not because Lady Gaga is on top of the world and you’re happy and hopeful. No, you cry because you feel sorry for her…the poor little victim. And you feel sad and powerless. It’s like getting the message “see, that’s what you get for being successful.”

What’s the Lesson for Successful Women here?

If women want strong role models, why does this movie keep getting made over and over – and starring strong and successful women (currently Lady Gaga)? It paints the woman as a victim at almost every turn. Yes, she’s a strong woman, but she pays a huge price for the success her talent gives her. Guy movies are seldom like that, right?

Hollywood and ‘Strong Women’

A generation ago, Thelma and Louise was touted as a “strong woman” movie – and it always seems to come up in those online lists. You’ll recall how two women go away for a weekend. One almost gets raped and the other one kills the guy. In the end, the women decide the best thing they can do is kill themselves. Apparently that’s the only way Hollywood can see a woman’s outcome.

From my Victorious Woman view, I made my own list. And today, for International Women’s Day, I’m sharing it with you…and maybe you can add it.

Annmarie’s “Strong Woman” Chick Flicks

  1. Hidden Figures (Katherine)
  2. Waiting to Exhale (Glo)
  3. Steel Magnolias (M’Lynn)
  4. Legally Blonde (Elle)
  5. The Color Purple (Celie)
  6. The Sound of Music (Maria)
  7. Silence of the Lambs (Clarice)
  8. Dirty Dancing (Baby)
  9. The Help (Aibileen)
  10. His Girl Friday (Hildy)
  11. The River Wild (Gail)
  12. Hunger Games (Katniss)
  13. Adam’s Rib (Amanda) and nearly every movie with Katherine Hepburn
  14. Erin Brockovich (Erin)

That’s my two cents…let me know what you think…

If you want MORE VICTORY in your life, and aren’t already part of the Victorious Woman community, join us! When you get my newsletter, you get the latest about upcoming free teleseminars and classes. as well as newest posts, trends, episodes of Victory Chicks Radio, and more. Go here: Yes! I want to be a Victory Chick!

#Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

Women's History is YOUR History

Women’s History Month starts today and I wonder, does it matter anymore? I mean, do you ever think about the women who came before you – either historically-speaking or in your family? Who were they and how did they impact your life?

My early tastes of feminine power came from reading.  

As a kid, I devoured Nancy Drew! books; I was enthralled with her. It wasn’t just because I loved mystery novels – I could have read any one of a million of those. What I loved most was that the person solving the mystery was a girl who got respect, Nancy Drew mysteries were feminism wrapped up in a young adult novel.

Feminism wasn’t really embraced in my old-school Italian Catholic family, and well…Nancy had it along with everything I didn’t have…but wanted.

In those days, Nancy (now 89) had money, a cool lifestyle, and a boyfriend. Ned was an older college man who didn’t boss her around and treated her as an equal. And her two best friends, Bess who was, as I recall, a girly girl, and George, a tomboy, were everything you’d want in your besties.
Also, she was really smart and clever. I loved how she figured things out and how, when she got herself into some scary situation, she knew how to get herself out of danger.

I worked my way through every one of those Nancy Drew books. Then I read all the Cherry Ames novels. Cherry didn’t push the envelope as much as Nancy, so I think she wasn’t quite as exciting.

Later I moved into novels like Little Women. I thought that writer and “renegade” Jo March was the most fun. Next Mary Queen of Scots grabbed my attention.  By then I was in high school and my reading was focused on the required reading of “the classics” like Dickens, Fitzgerald, and Salinger.  Hard to find powerful women in those books!
However, high school was also when I started watching old black and white movies. My imagination was getting inspired by stars like Katherine Hepburn, Bette Davis, and Mae West – feisty women who held the reins in their lives and their movie careers. They started shaping my thinking in a way that was a 180 from my upbringing.  While much of that laid dormant in my brain until I was in my thirties, the ideas of those strong women were percolating throughout my teens and twenties.

By then President Ronald Reagan had nominated Sandra Day O’Connor to be the first woman to serve on the Supreme Court, it was exciting that a woman was serving in the highest court of the land.

Since then we’ve had Ruth Bader Ginsberg – notorious RBG – and Sonya Sotomayor. But O’Connor was the first…and the glass ceiling breaker.

The late eighties brought Oprah Winfrey into my life.

She was like everyone’s best friend or big sister. Also, Barbara Bush, whose deep caring for reading attracted me, as well as her no-nonsense attitude. When I got married the first time, in the first of my Five-Year Marriages®, she helped me see a different way to have a marriage.
More recently, with all the ancestry products, I’ve been thinking about my own heritage. Both of my grandmothers were born in Italy and immigrated to the US. My maternal grandmother was newly married when she came to the United States with my grandfather. For them, as newlyweds, it must have been an adventure. Scary, of course, but they were young and forging new territories.

On the contrary, my father’s family was different. His father left his mother and sister, who was just a toddler, to make a new life for his family.  Once here, it took him 10 years to get a job, a house, and enough money to bring his spouse and daughter to live with him in South Philly. My father was born a year later.

I wonder what it was like for her, then a young woman, to live as a single mom, waiting year after year for her spouse to send her money to live and then – finally – tickets.

Was she understanding, or angry and resentful? I also wonder if her family told her to forget about my grandfather and find someone else…or if the men in her village tried to get with her. And if she had an affair while waiting…or if my grandfather did.

Yes, I think Women’s History Month still matters –  even if it’s just to get women thinking about where they were and where they are, as the foundation for where we’re going.

What do you think?

#WomensHistoryMonth, #Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

What are You Waiting For?

This is the latest empowerment campaign from Bumble with the fabulous Serena Williams for the SuperBowl. It’s hard to believe that it’s still necessary to tell women and girls. That still…so many women are still waiting to be asked…for a date, for a pay raise or promotion, to speak. And so many of us don’t ask…and then we get angry because we get passed over for something.
The nuns used to tell us to do a good job and people will notice. That might have been true in the last century, but not in this century where everything moves so fast and life becomes like “short attention spam theater.”
One of the most frequent pieces of feedback I get from a Victorious Woman or Five-Year Marriage™ talk or workshop is “Thank you for giving my permission [to be empowered].
So many of us  “good girls” are waiting, often because we fear rejection and want validation. But only YOU can validate YOU. And rejection….well, we’re all going to get it throughout our lives…so we should get used to it.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, you need to step up and speak up…without being asked.
Are you still waiting for something?
WHY?
#MakeTheFirstMove, #SerenaWilliams, #VictoriousWomanProject, #VictoriousWoman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly
 

Should You Act Your Age?

How to transform in midlife“Nan didn’t like a lot of people,” the lovely college student said at Susan’s memorial service on a rainy Saturday afternoon, “In fact, she barely tolerated them.” The mourners laughed in recognition, lightening the somber mood at the historic old-English-style Bryn Mawr church.

She was right. Eighty-year-old Susan wasn’t a warm and fuzzy woman. She didn’t sugar-coat anything. She would rather “tell it like it is” than wrap her words in a pretty package that didn’t convey her point – and she always had one. Susan’s straight-forward talk, competitive behaviors, and those recent tattoos weren’t always comfortable for a lot of people in her upper crust crowd.

Yet, on that rainy December afternoon, Susan’s granddaughter stood before the congregants in the pew-packed church and showcased Susan’s forthright energy as shared three things she learned from her grandmother, starting with “Never Act Your Age.” She shared how much she loved that her grandmom kept up with college lingo and always gave her a straight answer. “Nan was my ‘go-to person’ when something happened,” she said, fighting back tears. And she seemed amazed – and tickled – that her grandmother got both her tattoos in her seventies.

When she finished, three of Nan’s other grandkids spoke. They expressed childlike delight in Susan’s “boundless energy and appetite for adventure.” They told the mourners how they loved that, “no grandchild’s game, play or project was too small to warrant a road trip.” And how, when two of Susan’s granddaughters ran the most recent NYC Marathon, “Susan scrambled from borough to borough on foot, cab, and subway to catch as many sightings as she could of her two granddaughters running.”

About about those tattoos…one of them was on her ankle. It said, simply written in beautiful cursive, “Grace.” When I saw it a couple years ago, I asked Susan why “grace” and, without missing a beat, she said, “Because that’s what we all need.”

You know, we Victory Chicks are sometimes admonished to “act your age” and dress “age appropriate.” Okay advice if you feel like moving into [what I call] Alfred Dunner style. Susan didn’t. She didn’t act her age. If she felt like swimming and didn’t have a bathing suit, she’d take off her shirt and swim in shorts and a bra. Susan’s no-holds-barred behaviors served her until the day she died.

What about you? Are you tired of acting your age? Do you find being “age appropriate” makes you feel bored out of your mind.
As you head into the New Year, here are three ideas for bucking the system and putting some jazz back in your life:

1 – Do something you thought was too late to do

What do you regret missing out on when you were younger? Some event or travel, starting a business, getting a certain degree? Susan got her Master’s Degree in midlife and, in like manner, I know one midlife Victory Chick who is studying for the LSATs with the intention of becoming a lawyer. Yes, she won’t have the career she might have had at thirty, but at sixty, with more experience, more compassion, less need to get to the top, etc., she will help people in a way she never could have in the past.
Or what about finally writing that book you always said was in you? Take a class, join a writer’s group, make an outline…whatever small step you take, do it!
What is it that your age is saying it’s too late to do? Screw it – do it anyway!

2 – Learn something new.

Neuroscientists say that you can create new pathways in your brain. If old ones are dying off, learning something new can make a difference. You can learn another language, take up quilting, become an expert in local history, study astrology or spiritualism, or anything else that you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to doing

3 – Revisit your childhood

Go back to your old neighborhood and see what’s still around…and who. What do those old streets make you think of? What did you and your friends talk about when  you shared your dreams for when you grew up?
Were you a reader? Then  make a goal to read the entire Nancy Drew series again, or Little Women, or something that will remind you what you dreamed about in those days.
If none of these things tickle your fancy, what does?

The truth is, age matters when you make it matter.

If you have the ability to do something and the willingness to take action, you can do it. Sure, it might take you a little longer than it might have twenty or thirty years ago. So what?

Don’t forget, now you have more self-confidence, polish, people skills, and lots of other things you didn’t have then. Maybe in those days, not having those things kept you from being your best self – and having your best life.

And, one of two things will happen: if you die, you will die doing something you love. If you don’t die, you’ll make your life richer, love it more, feel good, and have something to look back on when you are older.

Here’s your second chance – or third or fourth. What do you want to do that you think you’re too old to do? Take out a piece of paper right now and jot down a couple ideas. Then DO something.

If you need a way to get started, and some support, you can get it with me at the Savvy Sizzle Master Class. Take a look at what I have for you…and sign up today!

You can find me here: VictoriousWoman.com, on FB @VictoriousWomanProject, or on Twitter@AnnmarieKelly

# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

What if you had another 50 years to live?

What’s YOUR What If???


WHAT IF.… you knew you would live to be 120 years old, and in good health – or mostly good health – almost to the end? What would change for you? It’s an important question to be asking NOW, before holiday fun distracts you, so you can get ready for 2019 and start the New Year as your strongest and most empowered Victory Chick.

Start a ‘What if…’ List

I started my “What if…” list over the summer while Joseph and I were negotiating our new marriage agreements for our new Five-Year Marriage™. And I’m excited!

Your life could change at any moment

And, yes, I don’t live in la-la land. Anything can happen. The truth is that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. But you know what? Tomorrow wasn’t promised to you when you were a teenager, or when you turned 21, or 40, 50, or 60. One of my close girlfriends died in a house fire at 23. Joseph’s best friend, the best man at our first wedding, died of a heart attack the month after turning 50. Yes, you don’t know what can happen. It could be bad…but, also, it could be really good!!

You’re life could also extend for MANY more years than you expect

Think about it…between modern science and replacement parts, maybe you WILL live to be in good health until you are 120. And, if you do, you really don’t want to look back on this time of your life and say, “I wish I had…” That’s what all the women in the retirement community told a psychologist Friday Happy Hour guest. They said that, if they knew they were going to live as long as they had (80’s & 90’s), they would have started new projects and done other things.

How to prevent regrets in old age

Here is how you can empower yourself to live a “no regrets” life:

  1. Get Started. The easiest way to start is to ask yourself, “I wish I had…” Some of the answers I’ve heard my clients say include things like, I wish I…
    • Started my own business
    • Opened a bridal salon
    • Gotten a divorce
    • Traveled more
    • Hadn’t stopped playing the guitar and singing
    • Learned another language
    • Written down the family history for my grand kids
    • Written my memoir
    • Focused on art (I was really good at that when I was a kid). I wish I took classes then
    • Hadn’t given up crafting pottery
    • had more meaningful things in my life so that my kids wouldn’t always presume I’m always available for babysitting and, if I say “no,” make me feel guilty.
    • Your turn: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had ____________________”
  2. Play! 
    • Complete this sentence: “I just found out that I’m going to live to be 120 years old! Now I know I have time to _______________________”
      • Write everything down that comes into your head.
      • FYI: do this over a few days or a week. Your mind may need some time to know it “has permission” to think outside the box.
    • Have some fun with this! 
  3. Take Action
    OK, look at what you wrote with the belief that you’ll live to 120. You know it’s not too late yet. What can you do about that wish now?When you allow yourself to be empowered, you can do anything. Here are some ideas, both active and passive. You can…
    • Take a class at your local community college
    • Volunteer in the field
    • Meet and talk to some people who are doing it. If you don’t know anyone, you can go to a meeting of a professional association or a group or meetup focused on that special interest
    • Read books on that subject
    • Look for people online who do it and read their blogs
      • There is a wealth of knowledge online. You can listen to TedTalks, podcasts, and virtual summits or get signup for seminars and workshops (‘ll be doing another Savvy Sizzle in January).
    • Have breakfast or lunch with someone who is already doing it

Pursing your dreams adds excitement to your life!

One midlife woman just told me she’s going to take the LSATs with the intention of going to law school. She isn’t sure what she’ll do with it, but already a couple ideas popped into her head – possibilities she probably would never have considered without the impetus of this new direction. And she’s excited. Her new wish-fulfillment idea is clearing about cobwebs in her mind. She’s made a couple new choices that will better position her to take action.

Follow your passions to fill your life with happiness

Another midlife woman just got her degree in acupuncture. She started when her last kid was a junior in college. It took her a really long time to finish. Now she has a small office, and she loves it – especially when she can use acupuncture to help young women get pregnant (without using fertility drugs). In fact, she loves it so much, I’m betting she’s going to make fertility the “specialty” in her practice.

Keep track of your progress

4 – Watch what happens next

Once you get started in a direction, your life starts to move. Keep a journal because things will start to happen. Maybe it’ll be something on a TV show that will jog a thought in your mind. Or someone will start a conversation that gives you a new angle on your “what if…”
What one thirty-something woman told me was that she was just going along trying to figure things out. Then it got clear. How she explained it was, “one day my life just shifted.”

So keep a journal…you’re going to find it fascinating in a few months!

In January I’ll be starting another Savvy Sizzle workshop. I’ll be sharing more with you over the next two months…but here’s what I’ll be doing: Savvy Sizzle MasterClass

Look for more information in future posts! and be sure to join my newsletter! I send out lots of helpful tips and free tools. Click here to join.

# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment,  #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage

Melinda Emerson on the Friday Happy Hour

Melinda Emerson on Friday Happy HourDoes your midlife reinvention include starting your dream  business? Or do you already have a business that could use a mini-makeover? Then you need to hear from The Small Biz Lady, Melinda Emerson. She’s joining Annmarie Kelly at this week’s Friday Happy Hour and she has lots of ideas for you.

Melinda Emerson “SmallBizLady” is America’s #1 Small Business Expert. Her brand reaches 3 million entrepreneurs a week online. Her mission is to End Small Business Failure. Forbes named her the #1 women for small business owners to follow on twitter.

 www.succeedasyourownboss.com

www.facebook.com/smallbizlady

You can find her new book Fix Your Business on amazon.com

Here are some fun links from things I talked about today:


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