Love and marriage aren’t static—they evolve as we do. This October, we explored what happens when couples treat their relationship as a living, breathing partnership. From learning when to say “I love you” while you can, to understanding why love often fades gradually rather than suddenly, this month’s conversation centered around growth, collaboration, adaptability, and conscious reinvention. Below is a round-up of what we shared on social media this month, along with thoughtful questions and resources to help you strengthen the “us” in your relationship.
It’s Not Just You + Me — It’s the “Us”
One cornerstone of The Five-Year Marriage® is the idea of the “third partner”: your shared relationship. Just as each partner matures individually, the relationship identity changes too.
A recent Atlantic article reinforced this idea, highlighting how collaboration strengthens longevity in love. When couples stop nurturing the “us,” disconnection begins quietly—then compounds.
Say It Now: Love While You Can
October opened with a personal reminder: tell the people you cherish how you feel. Life doesn’t always offer second chances. Pausing to say the things we assume don’t need to be said can deepen intimacy, resolve tension, and plant emotional deposits for times of stress.
Love Dies Gradually, Then Suddenly
One follower, Fred, was blindsided when his wife left after 19 years. And yet, emotionally, many relationships end slowly over time.
Like Hemingway wrote: bankruptcy happens “gradually, then suddenly.”
Marriage too can erode through:
- Unspoken resentment
- Lack of attention
- Unchallenged distance
The Five-Year Marriage® helps couples avoid this trap through:
- Agreements
- Boundaries
- Negotiation
- Family meetings
- Relationship Resets
(Pro tip: If you haven’t scheduled your next reset, do it today.)
Love in Transition
Autumn’s changing leaves remind us that transitions can be breathtaking. Love evolves. Deep relationships require flexibility—not clinging to a static version of who your partner used to be.
Marriage Must Be “Made to Measure”
Surprisingly, this month even found alignment with Pope Francis. He once described marriage as something that must be “made to measure” for the people who wear it—custom-tailored, not one-size-fits-all. That’s exactly what the Five-Year Marriage® does every five years: redesign the terms so no one outgrows them.
Actions > Words
Love without deeds is theory. Trust without proof is hope. Apologies without change are placeholders.
Action says what words can’t. Healthy relationships are lived—not just spoken.
Shared Values: Why They Matter
A recent Forbes piece shared that couples thrive when they align on values. Date nights are fun, but shared meaning is foundational.
When was the last time you talked about:
- Family expectations?
- Money?
- Division of labor?
- Lifestyle priorities?
If the answer is “it’s been a while…”—start there.
If You Could Redesign Marriage…
We asked: What’s one thing you would change about marriage?
Answers ranged from:
- More communication structure
- Clearer boundaries
- Better support during transitions
- Regular check-ins
All themes the Five-Year Marriage® model was built to address.
Marriage Sucks! There’s a Better Way.
In our NYMM video, we explored why traditional marriage struggles—and what alternatives exist. Because sometimes, frustration isn’t failure. It’s a signal that the old blueprint no longer fits.
Give the Gift of Growth
As the holidays approach, consider gifting The Five-Year Marriage®. It’s thoughtful, unexpected, and conversation-changing—perfect for newlyweds, engaged couples, longtime spouses, or anyone curious about redesigning partnership on their own terms.
Love Gives Strength. Loving Gives Courage.
We closed the month with this reminder from Lao Tzu:
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
Love is not just emotion—it’s movement.
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