Give That Change a Big Hug!
Change is a forever part of life. No matter who you are, where you live, or what you do, change happens.
Every second chance in life begins with a change. Maybe the change happened outside of you, like the death of a loved one, a move to a new house, your company merging with another, or even your favorite TV show going off the air. On the other hand, you may be the change catalyst because you decided you want something different than the empty relationship or the iunfulfilling job.
Either way, whenever change happens, you experience grief. Of course, the grief you feel will be very different if involves the loss of a loved one vs. your favorite TV show begin cancelled. And it’s easier to manage if you initiated the change. But the one thing that is as constant as change is the sense of loss. Loss is accompanied by grief. Grief has five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
When it comes to dealing with change, it’s safe to say that most women get stuck in one of the five stages of grief. Most commonly it’s in the anger or depression stages. Here’s an example: You’re angry over a divorce or losing your job. You bargain in your head, thinking, “maybe if I do this…or that…I can still keep my marriage together or hold onto my job.” When that doesn’t work, you get depressed. There is much research that supports the idea that depression is anger turned inward.
So what do you do? Stay angry for the rest of your life? Some women do. Or do you go into a depression that you don’t get out of without medication? That happens a lot.
While change is constant and grief has its stages, in the middle of all that, you have some control. No matter what happens, you control your reaction to change.
Once you understand the stages of grief, and recognize where you are, you have a better shot at moving through the stage if you let go of the past and embrace the change. Of course, it’s easy to do when you’re reading it and not so easy when you’re living it. But resisting the changes don’t do anything for you except make your do-over transition harder, maybe even more painful.
The faster you recognize, deal with and move through the stages of grief, the sooner you’ll embrace that fact that your life has changed – and the faster you’ll get to the good stuff.
So…what are you waiting for?
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