Holidays, Gratitude & Relationship Resets

Holidays & reflecting on our relationships

Holiday Greetings!

If you are celebrating the eight days of Hanukkah, Chag Urim Sameach! 

If you are celebrating Christmas, this first week of Advent is set up so that you can start preparing for The Big Event a few weeks from now. Like Hanukkah, Advent uses candles, but only four – for the four weeks of Advent.

I love when our Judeo-Christian holidays crisscross in time. It seems to me sometimes that our political stuff divides us “big time” and it feels unsettling to me. So I see the overlapping/piggybacking holiday celebrations as a ribbon of unity that pulls open the door of kindness and shared humanity.

Holidays and Stress on our Relationships


And speaking of shared humanity, there is this one thing about the holidays, no matter which ones you celebrate…they put a strain on relationships, particularly marriages. Your marriage and my marriage. That strain is greater in some relationships than in others. That’s probably why January is unofficially declared “Divorce Month” and attorneys say they typically see an uptick in business in the new year.

January is the perfect time to Reset your Relationship!

However, many couples manage to ride out the holidays intact and, as the new year comes in, give themselves and their relationship a do-over or a fresh start. If that’s you, I can help you with that part. Here’s how: The Relationship Reset.

A Relationship Reset Might Just Save Your Marriage!

I can testify to the fact that Relationship Resets work and make a difference. I use it every year in my marriage and, of course, at the end of each five years. Joseph and I take some time to look back, look forward, and make a plan. Sometimes – or some years – things get off-course – like cancer threw us way off this year; the reset helps us get back on track… together.

FREE Webinar on Dec 9 to help you start your relationship reset.

And I want to help you do the same, so I’m gifting you my “LIVE” Relationship Reset webinar. It’s NEXT THURSDAY, December 9 from 4-5pmEST.

During the webinar, I’ll show you

  • THE BASICS: what the relationship reset is about
  • THE PLAN: the “what to say” and “how to do it” for getting your reset started
  • TIPS: Four easy get-the-romance-back tips that will start to “soften the soil” that may have grown hard between you two.
  • Q&A: Just in case I missed something you need to know

Here’s where to register: RELATIONSHIP RESET WEBINAR

So what are you waiting for – click this link now and get on the list. I’m making the replay available to you ONLY if you’re registered. So…do it  RELATIONSHIP RESET WEBINAR

If you have questions, you can reach me at and we can set up time for a 15-minute chat.

November was Gratitude Month


At the beginning of November, on my private FB group, The Victory Chicks Community, I asked the Victory Chicks to post things they were grateful for…and asked them to notice everyday things as well as big or more obvious things. A few Victory Chicks got a big kick out of my posting my gratitude for hair dye. But, seriously, who wants to see those odd-colored roots? Not on my head!. My mom’s head, yes, but not mine

Today I’m sharing them all with you. Maybe you’ll laugh – like Joseph did reading some of them. And maybe you’ll be reminded of some things you’re grateful for but you’ve simply gotten too busy to acknowledge. 

And BTW: if you aren’t a member of the Victory Chicks Community yet, join today! You’ll see from the gratitude posts that we have some pretty interesting Victory Chicks in the group!

Here is the (long) list of November graitudes…and I started mine each day with “I am so happy and grateful for…”

  • Angels…both the ones who are unseen and protecting me and the earthly angels who show up and make my life better.
  • My yoga instructor. She keeps me in the Zen.
  • Religious holidays that make us feel part of something bigger than ourselves…and especially when traditions crisscross
  • My neighbor! Tonight we shared our stories of family traditions… each one so beautiful in their own way.
  • Catching up with long-time friends and close family.
  • Being able to share with others
  • Grateful for the love of family and friends! Always in my corner!
  • Family and extended family
  • The tranquility of the Smokey Mountains on a sunny fall day! 
  • I’m grateful for leftovers…and my cousin, who let us share the day with her beautiful family AND THEN sent us home with a whole meal of fabulous goodies!
  • I’m happy and grateful for good traditions. This morning I walked with a friend for (I think) the 20th year…followed by tea and a treat at Starbucks
  • The little things…
  • Good food!
  • Breath. Know someone recently hospitalized with covid, reminded of the blessing of effortless, take-it-for-granted breathing
  • Transportation….my Subaru rules!
  • The sweetness of everyday that we so easily take for granted.
  • My good health
  • Working with someone who trusted my consultation
  • Helped two new OD practitioners see possibilities
  • Selling a story to the newspaper! I’m really happy!
  • For my granddaughter….reading books together tonite
  • I am so grateful that I don’t have to go out today on this chilly morning! 
  • Made appointment for my second Shingrix vaccine this weekend, so here’s to avoiding shingles!
  • Second chances and do overs…in life, love, career/work, relationships…
  • Life!
  • Someone else is cooking tonight
  • The beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains! On my way to see my babies in Nashville!
  • The opportunity to stay home!
  • How grateful I am to Neumann U and to Gloria, the teacher who gave me confidence to write.
  • So grateful for the love, support and guidance from Dr. Mirenda, the university president
  • I am grateful for sunsets.
  • Friends who not only offer help when needed but actually show up and do it.
  • Good friends
  • I’m grateful that every one of my friends who had health challenges had decent-to-great outcomes in and are moving into the new year in good health!
  • Everyone seems to be in “TGIF” Mode today!
  • Friends donating and coming together to help with our comfort bag project
  • I’m noticing how kind and generous so many people are. I’ve witnessed so many acts of kindness this week.
  • Hair dye. I saw my roots and it was a shock to my system
  • I am grateful for the invention of touch up!
  • I just did some touching up today, too
  • I am so grateful that life is getting back to normal again. I am speaking in person tomorrow, to real people. I’m excited, so grateful and a little nervous 
  • I am grateful my knee is feeling better. 
  • I have had a really crazy, busy fall. I am so grateful for rest. We don’t do it enough. We don’t take it seriously. And we punish ourselves for resting. I’m so grateful that I can rest. And I am doing it with gratitude, not guilt
  • I am grateful for my son -always my Rock
  • I did a lot of driving around yesterday and was so grateful for how awesomely beautiful the yellow leaves looked with the sunlight shining on them
  • I am grateful for Annmarie Kelly and her inspiring stories of Love!
  • Grateful that my new magnesium seems to be helping diminish my nighttime leg cramps
  • Grateful for my family and friends and health. Stay well
  • Grateful for good dreams. Not sure what mine was in the early hours, but I woke up singing
  • I woke up ending a dream with “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” It’s been making me laugh all morning.
  • I was so chilly when I got out from under the covers this morning. I put on a pair of warm fluffy socks and made some hazelnut hot chocolate. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m grateful for chilly, quiet mornings, socks and definitely hot chocolate.
  • Grateful to travel, but really grateful to come back home to my life and my routine!
  • The tea at my friend’s table. there’s something really special!
  • Thankful every morning I wake up!
  • Thankful to be able to work from the beach!
  • On the road to visit my sister -best big sister ever! Grateful for her Love!
  • Grateful to be spending the weekend with these beauties, who do not like their pics taken.
  • We’ve been working at the homeless shelter.
  • Spending the day going from Goodwill to Goodwill to find 27 blankets for our homeless project
  • Good memories and someone to laugh about them with…Last night Joseph and I got talking about something – I don’t even remember what because it was just a lead-in to a conversation about fun stuff we’ve done. Warmed my heart
  • I am Grateful for my Handsome Date tonite!
  • Most definitely our Veterans they deserve so much more!
  • Taking off today for self care!!
  • Our Vets…including my father who was a Wounded Warrior and a Purple Heart recipient.
  • I am grateful for our Veterans and their families for all that they have endured for our Freedom.
  • Vets…Where would we be without all our VETS
  • The sweetest rescue pup ever, aka: a person with fur and amazing intuition.
  • I’m happy and grateful for small gestures.
  • Yesterday I walked past an older guy having lunch alone at a restaurant’s outside table. He looked up and I smiled at him. It must have mattered because he practically shouted “you’re beautiful!” I’m guessing that smile made a difference to him. But I was having a so-so day and his compliment put a little spring in my step.
  • Today I am grateful that the dermatologist gave me a clean bill of skin health
  • I am grateful for my brother in law and sister in law- Mike and Sandy! They are in town visiting and I am blessed to call them family!
  • I am SO grateful for 5 star book reviews.. I woke up to 2 of them them this morning and the day just kept getting better!
  • I’m grateful that my friend who has breast cacer – again – is choosing to face reality and fight while staying on the positive side. And I’m grateful for 2 other friends who have beaten breast cancer and one of them had a double mastectomy AND THEN had her nipples tattooed back (and they look perfectly normal).
  • I am grateful for my oncologist, who has been my Rock since my cancer diagnosis in 2006. I am grateful for “Unite for Her” for the financial support when I was so sick. I am grateful for all the angels that jumped on my path. I am grateful to be here. Early detection saved my life! Don’t postpone a mammogram Ever!
  • I’m so happy and grateful that I get to talk about The Five-Year Marriage during an interview I’m doing today with DJ Marcia Macomber on The Morning Show at KSVY. a Sonoma CA radio station.
  • Getting back into the swing of things at home after being in New England for three days
  • My Beautiful Daughter Megan called me from Tennessee this morning to tell me she loves and misses me! It was a great way to start my day
  • What a beautiful day it was to take a ride and spend time with my husband admiring the gorgeous trees and sunshine
  • Have a healthy, smart, and much-loved little granddaughter
  • The Suffragettes who paved the way for a Woman’s right to vote!
  • Grateful I am to know interesting and/or fun people.
  • Got to Binge-watched the whole Mare of Easttown series
  • After a move… my new neighbors as I feel like I am home again
  • After 8 weeks at home recovering from surgery my husband is headed back to work…he is cancer-free, losing weight, eating healthy, and exercising. Whether I see it as an answered prayer, or a miracle, I’m grateful!
  • After taking out my winter clothes, found out one of my favorite winter jackets – a casual rose-colored corduroy – fits again
  • Everything! My family, friends, home
  • My birthday AND my anniversary
  • For the opportunity to work with a collaborative and fun team and for experiencing a moment of compassion from a – co-worker today.
  • Grateful for my fleece coat
  • Water
  • Sun
  • Rescue dog Marley…exploring our new neighborhood a n d together we met lots of neighbors and new friends!
  • Today my friend’s ashes will go back to the source in the pacific… and yesterday my friend became a great aunt for the first time. water.
  •  Happy and grateful for my fabulous webmaster
  • For my Granddaughter Alexis! She calls me “Mamaw” and when she says it , it is music to my ears! Her arrival has shown me a whole new level of love
  • My Fem City girlfriends. We had a fabulous lunch on a warm porch today and talked, and laughed, and laughed some more.
  • Having Apherasis over for another two weeks
  • Having met an interesting coach who modeled vulnerability and shared his story
  • Doing a fabulous Savvy Sizzle webinar yesterday
  • I won my election
  • A friend who will walk with me this morning- we get exercise, fresh air and support
  • For my nursing career for it has sustained me through many challenges and has provided incredible flexibility!
  • Creative friends
  • Time to craft!
  • Friendship!
  • My high school friends! Having a Ridley Chick luncheon today! Girlfriends are RockStars !
  • Having made some new friends, who welcomed me warmly

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What is the Five-Year Marriage®?

Created by Annmarie Kelly, the Five-Year Marriage® is a concept of restructuring marriage agreements every five years to take into consideration external and internal changes happening to each person in the relationship. This periodic assessment of each person’s happiness, fulfillment, obligations and goals creates a safe space for each person to grow and change, together. The result is a relationship that grows stronger and more intimate over time. This collection of articles is a dep dive into the  different concepts proposed in the book, The Five-Year Marriage® and deserve a space for additional exploration and discussion.

Five Year Marriage

The Five-Year Marriage is a ground-breaking new concept for marriage. Every five year the couple spiritually ends one marriage and begins a new one - with new agreements and goals


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