Happy February!
This month is called the love month. But is it?
I hear the complaints all the time…”I feel like we have nothing in common anymore but the kids”, or “I’m bored”, and “I feel like we lost our spark”.
Recently someone wondered to me out loud, asking if the disappearance of love in a relationship was the result of stagnation. I would say that, if there isn’t infidelity, abuse, or severe money issues, chances are that stagnation plays a big role.
What is stagnation?
Stagnation is “the state of not flowing, it’s a lack of activity, growth, or development.” In a marriage, that can mean being stuck in your own stuff, which might mean focusing too much on your work, or the kids, or your own wants and not enough on your partner directly, or on the agreements – or lack of agreements – you have with your spouse or special someone.
A few years ago, one long-time married woman complained to me that her newly retired spouse wanted to buy a place in Florida. He was an avid golfer and boater and long dreamed of having fun in retirement. She did too, but her idea of “fun in retirement” was doing things together. “All these years, I was a stay-at-home mom and thought this would be our time together. I don’t golf. And I don’t even like Florida.”
Clearly, that relationship had gone stagnant.
It was the same with the woman who returned to the workplace when the kids were all in school. Suddenly, her life was completely different, but it seemed to her that her spouse didn’t notice how much she was struggling. And, she said, “then he wants to have sex. Is he kidding me?” Clearly, though there was activity, there wasn’t any growth.
On the other side of the coin, men complain that their spouse is too focused on the kids…or her work…or her diet…and her family and friends.
If you think stagnation is a problem in your relationship, now is a good time to do something about it.
Here are two ways to shake things up:
1. The Curiosity Conversation!
Get together with your partner and have The Curiosity Conversation. This is a series of questions that will help you find out where the gaps are and help you two get back in sync.
(click here for this free resource)
2. Do a Relationship Reset
Life changes. You change. Your relationship changes. When you feel distant and disconnected from your partner, you need to rethink, reorganize, and reset. That’s what this program helps you do! (Click here to learn more or signup!)
Special Offer: For Valentine’s Day, I reduced the cost to $79 through the month of February…and that’s a deal you don’t want to miss!
Check them both out! Either one will shake things up and move you out of that stagnation mode. Don’t be like Kathleen Z, who told me “I wish I knew about your program three years ago when my marriage was still worth saving.” If your relationship is showing some signs of stagnation, now is the time to take action!
Please share this email with your family and friends…you never know who might need it!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
With love and in victory,
Annmarie
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Have you seen this? I recorded 8 episodes of Not Your Mother’s Marriage for the This Is It Network. It’s about the Five-Year Marriage. Take a look at these episodes and let me know how you like it and, if you do, please subscribe.
Not Your Mother’s Marriage!
Join Annmarie Kelly as she explains how to create a relationship that you and your partner both love having. In this 8 video series produced by the This Is It Network, Annmarie explains her breakthrough approach to marriage that’s changing the way everyone looks at marriage and relationships. Break the commitment stranglehold of traditional marriage and design a new ‘I DO’!
Watch & subscribe to the Not Your Mother’s Marriage webisodes on YouTube.
