It’s a brand new baby year, Victory Chicks! And Yayyy! The last one grew whiskers pretty fast and we were ready to see it go months before it was over.
This fresh new year gives you a blank slate. You can write whatever you want on it. What do you want out of this year – besides “back to normal?”
Of course, it’s a given to write your goal down. Note that I said “goal” and not “goals”. Just pick one that is important and/or meaningful to you. If you have one big goal, break it into small doable goals and focus on just the first one. If you have a list of different goals, it’s OK – but just pick one right now as your starter goal. When you achieve that goal, you can set another one, Success and victory feed off each other!
Start Here for New Year Goal Success!
You already know to write your goal down. If it’s not written, you’re not accountable to it. Also, choose a realistic date to accomplish it.
That feels good, right? It’s easy to get started, but realistically-speaking, you can expect your enthusiasm to wane. Statistically it take about 6 weeks for the new year – new you honeymoon to be over.
Three Tips to Keep Your Success Going
For your success, here are 3 tips to keep your motivation going:
Know your why. If you pick a goal and don’t have a compelling reason, you’ll easily get off-track. Why do you want your goal?
Make daily mini-goals. Big goals can overwhelm, but making 3 phone calls to clients or doing 20″ of exercise…those are doable.
Make a reward jar. Think of 20+ small rewards for yourself. It should be something that doesn’t need a lot of time or money. Write each one on a separate piece of paper. Each time you finish the days mini-goals, take a piece of paper and reward yourself.
You can make more of this year by adding those three small tips.
Want More Purpose & Direction for the New Year?
Join me for the first Savvy Sizzle workshop of 2021. I’m starting with a free class on January 19. You can register here: Savvy Sizzle
Whew! For months I thought Election Day 2020 was never going to come. Didn’t you? I felt stressed as the day drew closer – were you feeling it too? Political ads were all over TV, with only a break when the Medicare ads came on 🙂 And, just in case you managed to veer off into non-political thought, phone texts brought you back. So now that it’s over – OK, almost over – except for the final counting…and it looks like it may be a little while before we know who is officially the next president. Who knows? It’s 2020!
So now…take a deep breath and think. What’s next – FOR YOU?
In spite of being up in the air politically here’s the most important thing you need to know right now. Whether your preferred candidate wins or loses, the reality is this: you’re going to be here, living your life…every day. You’re going wake up, get dressed, and go about your day. No matter what else is going on, good, bad, and indifferent, for the most part, you are and will be in control of your everyday life.
What will that mean for you?
If you ever doubted your personal power, this pandemic year proved you’ve got it. Remember at the beginning, how you felt lost? You couldn’t go to the store whenever and however you wanted, you scrambled to get basics like toilet paper and bleach…and sometimes food. And, omg, even wine or alcohol. You masked up and social distanced and there was fear everywhere.
However, as the months rolled on, you settled into a routine. You found ways to keep in touch with family and friends, created new workspaces in your home, binged TV series, did online yoga and exercise…and made a hundred other adjustments. You even managed to find some good in things that you otherwise wouldn’t have known about or noticed in the busyness of life before covid. So…
Now what? What’s next?
Here’s a thought…Research shows that what you focus on expands. That like attracts like. So what’s your focus – for right now, for the New Year, for your future? If you focus on the worst, you’ll get it. If you focus on the best, you’re making space for it to come into your life.
What do you want in the coming New Year? Do you need to create more satisfying goals? Rebuild a business? Focus on your health? Reset your marriage or relationship? Find a new partner?
I can help you!
Whether it’s you need to get your life back on track, or shore up your marriage or relationship, in January and February I’ll be offering BOTH the Savvy Sizzle and Relationship Reset workshops – designed to help you rethink, regroup, and move forward. I’ll talk more about those dates and topics next month. In the meantime,join me next Tuesday, November 10, at 2pm for some Victory Chick Chat in a FREE zoom meeting. We’ll be talking about the five questions I asked in my last email…about what happiness and success are, what things make you feel special, and what brings you joy.
We’ll have an easy exchange of thoughts and ideas via zoom – and start thinking about the new year…which is bound to be better than 2020!
You can register here:SAVVY SIZZLE Use this download with the questions to think about so you can start jotting down your ideas between now and Tuesday. Find out what other Victory Chicks are thinking and feeling at the FREE zoom meeting. And, hey, invite your guys too. You’re in it the together, right?
I’ll look forward to chatting with you on Tuesday!
With love and in Victory, Annmarie
Did you spend 2020 waiting for it to be over and hoping that 2021 will be better? Are you feeling lost, not sure where to go or what to do? Feel stuck in a rut and not sure how to break free? Here’s where to start:
Join my FREE EVENT for midlife women!
Join me on January 19 at 1pm EST for a discussion about happiness & personal fulfillment to help you uncover your inner spark and how you can harness that passion to create a life you LOVE living!
Not only do you feel it’s time to rediscover and fire up your inner passion, but you want to DO something with it – something that will make an impact on your daily life. Then you’re ready for SAVVY SIZZLE! This online course will walk you step-by-step, through the lifestyle reinvention process that let’s you ditch the frump and fizzle for a fabulous SAVVY SIZZLE!
You deserve to feel the passion and excitement – and hope – you once had. Remember what it felt like to have your whole life ahead of you? Before responsibilities and commitments filled up every last minute of every day? Before your efforts and attention were focused on everyone else?
I have great news for you – IT’S NOT TOO LATE! I can show you how to find that inner spark and set your heart ablaze with happiness and excitement. Let’s do this! Together! Join me, Annmarie Kelly, in the Savvy Sizzle Master Class and we’ll get it going! Sign up here: /victorious-woman/savvy-sizzle/
2020 will definitely be a year for the books…and the book will read like a bad Stephen King novel. Actually I’m not sure even King would write it this way!
Still, maybe there’s an upside you aren’t considering…
If you ever doubted your personal power, 2020 surely reminded you that, even in the worst of times, you’ve got plenty of power! After all, you dealt with all kinds of loss and, at the same time, you managed staying home, converted your dining room into an office, did without a social life except for zoom, suffered from zoom fatigue, became a homeschooling parent, passed on vacation, missed your grandkids, played games, did puzzles, binged everything on Prime and Netflix, and cooked and baked more than usual – sometimes figuring out what to make based on whatever you could find in the pantry, and packed on a few pandemic pounds. And that’s just the physical stuff.
And that was the easy stuff!
If you’re like me and most of the women I talk to, you also struggle with emotional stuff, including some depression…and, at the same time, you pull it together to help the people you live with deal with their emotions.
So…so what if you didn’t shower every day (it was so good for your skin!), or didn’t clean the house (who was going to see it anyway?), or drank a little more than usual (OK, some days maybe more than a little) and did a few things you wouldn’t want to share with anyone, including that terrible meltdown (or maybe that’s just me…). And you’re still here! If nothing else, as you look back over this year, you proved to yourself that you are one powerful woman.
Yes, you’re not a saint. Nobody is. However, you ARE a Victorious Woman!
Good for you! Now, with 2020 almost in the rearview mirror (and good riddance), a covid vaccine in sight (we hope), and you can optimistically anticipate a return to some happier form of normal. So let’s focus on 2021.
What do you want to do with the brand new baby year ahead?
Don’t tell me you’re too stressed for that! The fact is that no matter what happens with covid, no matter who wins the election, no matter what crisis this season’s bachelorette faces, you life is your own.
The future is yours to mold and shape into your happiness and success. What will you do with it?
To help you get started, here are five questions (below) or you can click here for a downloadable PDF workbook. Write them down and work with them over the next month. And don’t rush – just do one every couple of days.
Talk with Other Women who are Pursuing THEIR Midlife Goals!
THEN…Let’s talk about them together…on November 10 @2pm. I’m hosting a FREE zoom meeting for us to talk – together – about how we can make the most of the new year – in spite of the crazy around us. So copy the questions below and plan to join me for some Victory Chick Chat. You can register for our phone call here: VictoryChickChat OK…get the brand new baby year started with these:
What is happiness to you? When I ask my groups to answer this one, many Victory Chicks are surprised by their own answers. It’s foundational because, once you know what it is, your focus changes and you can more easily get more juiced about the future – which can attract more good jazz into your life (like attracts like).
What is success? Covid probably made you rethink success, so what is it now? Did lockdown – or an illness, lost job, or empty nest – make you reevaluate your work and push you in a new direction?
What are 5 things that fill me up? Once you get crystal clear about these, you can fill yourself up more often.
What are 5 things that make me feel special? This one is as much for the others in your life as it is for you. I share mine with my sweetie…so he doesn’t have to guess about how to make me feel special…and can do them more often.
When I’m feeling my own personal power, what am I doing? Do you feel your power when you’re working, when you complete a tough task, accomplish a goal, or are reminded that you are being a role model to your kids? Or is your power found in some form of art…or volunteering…or activism…or something else?
These seem like five simple questions, but they are powerful!
Listen…the world isn’t ending…it just feels that way sometimes.
That’s why we need to stay focused on what’s good and what we can control. That’s what we’ll do together on November 10…so register now. Remember: only you can control what goes on between your ears. That’s what I think…
YOUR TURN! What do you think?You know I’d LOVE to hear your feedback on what I’ve been doing with Five-Year Marriage and The Victorious Woman Project. Tell me, what do you think? I really want to know what you think is good, what annoys you, what’s helpful, what’s not relevant? What would you like to see more of? I’m always interested in improving & evolving. CLICK HERE to send me feedback! Until next time…with love and in Victory, Annmarie
This month marks the 100th Anniversary of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote. The amendment was ratified on August 18, and certified on Aug. 26, 1920. 100 years ago today.
It might not seem like so big a deal to people like us who were raised with the right to vote.
However, close your eyes for a moment and think of those women – like your great grandmothers, or even your grandmothers and great aunts. World War I had just ended and the world was living through a pandemic – with way fewer sources of information. They had to wait for the evening paper to find out anything.
For their whole lives, those women had almost no say in the decisions that impacted their lives. They grew up thinking only white men could vote – and had to watch as even the really dumb ones voted while so many smart women stayed silent.
Then the 19th Amendment was ratified and certified less than 70 days before the presidential election. It was new and exciting, and I’ll bet, a little scary.
The Big First Steps for Women’s Empowerment
The 19th Amendment was the beginning that changed everything for women – including you and me.
It’s history now, but here’s the thing: it didn’t happen fast. The 19th Amendment was over 100 years in the making. While some women stirred the pot of change for years, it wasn’t until 1848 that something “big” happened – the First Women’s Rights Convention in Seneca Falls, New York. The movers and shakers at that convention included Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and Susan B. Anthony.
They didn’t know it would take almost another hundred years to become the 19th Amendment. Or that they themselves would never get the right to vote.
You know who else never voted?
Clara Barton, the “Angel of the Battlefield.” She was instrumental in founding the American Red Cross, which is still strong and vibrant today.
Madame C.J. Walker, the first female self-made millionaire.
Elizabeth Blackwell, a British physician who became America’s first female doctor.
The list goes on and on – one smart Victorious Woman after the other kept plugging away – an uphill battle. They, too, had no end date (and no phones, FB – not even washing machines or dishwashers!) They just had a bunch a question marks.
They must have been exceptional women, yes? Actually…maybe not so much!
In her book, Founding Mothers, the late Cokie Roberts, explains it this way: “…as I got to know these women…I came to the conclusion that there’s nothing unique about them. They did – with great hardship, courage, pluck, sadness, joy, energy, and humor – what women did. They put one foot in front of the other in remarkable circumstances. They carried on.”
They did it then and we are doing it now – with courage, pluck, sadness, joy, energy, and humor.
Now It’s Our Turn to Create Change
We’ll change the way we school our kids. Tele-work and tele-health will be commonplace. Drive-in movies will be all the rage – again. Women running our country and companies will be the norm.
And couples will look back on the old way of marriage and think “how did any marriages ever survive without regularly resetting every five years?”
100 years from now, those women will be looking back at us and thinking “WOW – they must have been something!” THAT’S what’s so good about today.
Let’s celebrate it! Call your BFF and toast the women from 100 years ago. Toast our pluckiness during this pandemic. Have some fun imagining what two women 100 years from now will be saying about us.
Cheers to all of us and each of us!
With love and in victory,
#WomensEmpowerment, #FiveYearMarriage, # Victorious Woman Project, #LoveAndMarriage, #AnnmarieKelly
Did you know August is Romance Awareness Month? Honestly, it’s arrived at the perfect time – after MONTHS of summer lockdown, romance has likely taken a back seat.
So in honor of Eileen Buchheim’s mission to encourage couples to enhance their relationships throughout the year, I’ve created a 31-Day Romance Month Challenge! I designed it to help YOU put a little sparkle and fire back into YOUR relationship. It’s chock full of easy & quick gestures of love and simple activities that you can do for, or with, your sweetie! . You can download it HERE.
And if you don’t feel like you’re relationship is in the right “space” for the romance challenge, read on!
Big Changes Strain Relationships
Whether you’re going through a career change, a family illness, financial struggles, unemployment, or you just can’t stand being around your sweetie 24/7, or any of the million other struggles people are facing these days, change happens. And change can test even the most solid relationships.
2020 has been an especially rough year. One thing Joseph & I have been doing to keep our sanity is utilizing the Family Meeting outlined in my lasted book, The Five Year Marriage®. We don’t just ignore problems and hope they go away (they never do!) We SOLVE them. Together.
Before you consider divorce, consider this
During the imposed lock down, I decided to boil down the best parts of The Five Year Marriage® – the ones that make the most sense for established couples. Then I arranged them into a manageable and highly effective format that couples can use to help get their relationships back on the right track, right now. I call itThe 30-Day Relationship Reset!
You’ve got Options!
Whether you’re interested in sparking a little romance with the 31 Day Romance Challenge or if you’re in need a something a little more significant like the 30 Day Relationship Reset – you’ve got options. You’re not stuck, you can make a change. I wholeheartedly believe that, and it’s my life’s passion to help you along your journey to Victory!
May is officially registered as Victorious Woman Month. It’s the reason why the annual celebration, The Girlfriend Gala is in May – except not this year!
Though I cancelled The Girlfriend Gala because of the Covid19 social distancing orders, I am still doing the annual Victory-a-Day Calendar. My crackerjack staff and I have updated some of the days to reflect our Covid19 Confinement. We’ll be posting daily on the Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter. However, you can get the whole month right now by downloading it here: Click Here to Download PDF
I hope you’ll join me in creating a small victory-a-day in May – 31 Days of Victory – and can’t we all use some victory right now?!? Join me and chime in on FB at VictoriousWomanProject.
With love and in victory,
Our theme this month was Women and Leadership. If you missed all the inspiring and thought-provoking content I shared on my social media accounts, you can catch up here:
How do you show leadership within your life?
Here’s what feminine leadership is: you being in charge of your life. It’s what I often refer to as SELF-control. If you aren’t the leader of your life, in control of the authentic you (your real SELF), then someone else is – and you’re following them. While you are, there’s a really good chance that they might not be leading you in the direction you want to go. And even if you are going in the same direction, for example, if you have a joint goal, you still need to be in charge of your SELF. Learn More: /victorious-woman/2012/11/novembers-victory-theme-leadership/
If you need another suggestion on what to read while in Quarantine….
Victorious Woman: Shaping Life’s Challenges into Personal Victories!
What do you do when your world turns upside down? “Victorious Woman” tells you real stories about nine women whose everyday lives were suddenly and seriously halted. Facing the worst, these women picked up the pieces of their shattered lives, started over, and came back victorious! Along with the true stories, there are thought-provoking questions to help YOU take YOUR next step toward YOUR OWN VICTORY as well as giving you the blueprint to put the pieces of your life together and the tools you need to climb your mountain, and get back on top. This is the book you need for today and tomorrow and into your fabulous future. Grab your copy today (paperback or Kindle) : https://www.amazon.com/Victorious-Shaping-Challenges-Personal-Victories/dp/0974603708/?tag=skillbuilders01-20
Need some Midlife Inspiration?
I’ve been posting my favorite quotes and inspiring sayings each week. Feel free to download & share these memes on your social media accounts too.
Looking to connect with Midlife Women?
Join the Victory Chicks Community on Facebook! This month we had a #victorychallenge – each day I posted a positive affirmation and the Victory Chicks printed it out and left it somewhere they’d see if often – so they could repeat it to themselves multiple times throughout the day. The postivity and inspiration this created was awesome and helped a lot of women get through the quarantine slump so many of us were feeling. This is a private group, so you’ll have to apply to join (Don’t worry, I’ll approve you!) and you can rest assure it’s a safe group where you can share without judgement. Here are a few example of the affirmations we enjoyed this month:
Corona-19 has flipped the world upside-down. It’ll be a apart of your history – women’s history – forever. Most people are scared…sheltering in place, keeping their distance from one another, living on FB and Instagram.
You have a choice this month – to see what is happening both globally and in your world – as devastation or opportunity, If you choose the latter – and I hope you do – you can emerge from this difficult time on the plus side.
Now is the Time for Midlife Women to FOCUS ON THEMSELVES
You know how you’re always so busy? If it isn’t some work thing, it’s a social something. You keep wanting to focus on you and your goals, but then you get distracted by something else or somebody else. But now that you’re in a mandatory deep pause…here’s you opportunity!
I remember Annie, a woman I talk about in Victorious Woman. The fun-loving sixty-something woman was diagnosed with cancer. The thing that would have jazzed her into fighting for her life was opening a bridal shop. When she told her spouse, kids, and friends, everyone laughed. SO, instead of designing a life she wanted, she went into the default position; she died.
On the other hand, Victorious Woman Pattie Painter, also in her sixties and diagnosed with multiple cancers, chose to live by design. When she got well, she designed a new life as a wedding celebrant. She’s been performing weddings both locally and at different destinations for years…and having a wonderful time.
In an Ideal World, How Would You Design Your Perfect Life?
Have you been trying to design your own meditation practice? Start today with just five minutes. In two weeks you can build up to ten minutes…and in a month you’ll have designed a new healthy habit.
What do you want to do next month, next week, next year? What did you miss in the past that you want to do now? Is it a new skill or learning? What about that business you’ve always talked about? Or is there a fabulous trip (for next year…not now!)? Have you always wanted to visit the original seven wonders of the world or the NEW wonders, or the top ten National Parks in the US? Maybe you’ve dreamed of tossing a coin in Italy’s Trevi fountain, having dinner at the Eiffel Tower, seeing Stonehenge, or meditating with a yogi at a Himalayan spa.
This “deep pause” is giving you time to focus on what’s in your heart of hearts. Make the most of it!
Looking for social connection with other midlife women during the quarantine?
When I was a kid, my family went to Wildwood, New Jersey for the 4th of July. It was always this week because my father worked for the government, in procurement. The end of the fiscal year meant all departments had to spend all the money in their budget before June 30. If it wasn’t spent, departments risked not getting the same dollars in the next budget – when they may really need it. So that money had to be spent…even if what was being bought was overpriced or not immediately needed.
My father had to sign off on those things…and he hated doing it. Also, most departments waited until close to the June 30 deadline to submit their stuff. As a result, during those last weeks, he often didn’t get home for dinner. And, when he did get home, his ulcer was acting up. Even as a kid I realized it was a stressful time for him. Not for me! My father’s stressful week signaled to me that it was almost time to go down the shore (to the beach, for those of you not from the Philly area). We always left on the first Saturday after June 30. So, as soon as school got out in mid-June, my mind was on sand, surf, Morey’s Pier, Mack’s Pizza, and a “boardwalk sundae” – an interesting concoction that had everything sundae on a cone. And, oh yes, fireworks (still one of my favorite things). As a kid, I didn’t think much about freedom. Of course I appreciated the historical significance. And my father was a Vet, and [what we now call] a Wounded Warrior. So I had some modern-day knowing about freedom. But it was more about “others” than me.
Then, at some point in my 20’s, after a broken engagement and its aftermath, something changed inside of me. Then I started fighting hard for my own independence. I wanted to stand on my own, to break free from some of the negative stuff of my history, to find my voice and be strong.
That’s when I started truly valuing my independence and the freedom it gave me – to be who I am and do what I want – including making my own mistakes and taking credit for my victories. In Victorious Woman-speak, I wanted to be an empowered woman…the first Victory Chick. 🙂
Of course, as you probably know, there’s a price for that. Not everyone gets happy when you assert your independence. However, the more you do it, the more comfortable you are with it and you don’t want to give it up.
It was much later that I realized that freedom is one of my top five values. The conscious awareness of my values was life-changing. In fact, I’ve noticed in my workshops, when someone consciously connects to her values, her life shifts in good directions. That’s probably why I post something about values so often on my Victorious Woman blog.
It’s also why, when Joseph wanted to get married, I suggested instead that we live together. And, when he still wanted to get married, my freedom value became the seed of The Five-Year Marriage®.
Do you ever think about your values? Do you notice them shifting over time? For example, health was always a value for me, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s inched up on the list. Did you ever wonder what would you give up or stop doing…or start doing…if you fully honored your personal values?
Tomorrow, and through this weekend, I’m asking you to take a few minutes to think about freedom and independence – as a value – for you, as a woman. If you meditate, take it into your meditation. If you’re driving someplace, think about the cultures where women are not allowed to drive. If you’re chatting with some women, ask what they think is their personal experience freedom and empowerment. Or maybe you just want to take some time to revisit your own values – something that can be particularly valuable if you are in some kind of transition.
Here are two articles that you might find helpful: What’s of Value to You? and Values and Bullies I wish you a safe and victorious, and joyful Fourth of July – even if you are in another country. With love and in victory, Annmarie #Values, #WomensEmpowerment, #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #FiveYearMarriage,