It’s a brand new baby year, Victory Chicks! And Yayyy! The last one grew whiskers pretty fast and we were ready to see it go months before it was over.
This fresh new year gives you a blank slate. You can write whatever you want on it. What do you want out of this year – besides “back to normal?”
Of course, it’s a given to write your goal down. Note that I said “goal” and not “goals”. Just pick one that is important and/or meaningful to you. If you have one big goal, break it into small doable goals and focus on just the first one. If you have a list of different goals, it’s OK – but just pick one right now as your starter goal. When you achieve that goal, you can set another one, Success and victory feed off each other!
Start Here for New Year Goal Success!
You already know to write your goal down. If it’s not written, you’re not accountable to it. Also, choose a realistic date to accomplish it.
That feels good, right? It’s easy to get started, but realistically-speaking, you can expect your enthusiasm to wane. Statistically it take about 6 weeks for the new year – new you honeymoon to be over.
Three Tips to Keep Your Success Going
For your success, here are 3 tips to keep your motivation going:
Know your why. If you pick a goal and don’t have a compelling reason, you’ll easily get off-track. Why do you want your goal?
Make daily mini-goals. Big goals can overwhelm, but making 3 phone calls to clients or doing 20″ of exercise…those are doable.
Make a reward jar. Think of 20+ small rewards for yourself. It should be something that doesn’t need a lot of time or money. Write each one on a separate piece of paper. Each time you finish the days mini-goals, take a piece of paper and reward yourself.
You can make more of this year by adding those three small tips.
Want More Purpose & Direction for the New Year?
Join me for the first Savvy Sizzle workshop of 2021. I’m starting with a free class on January 19. You can register here: Savvy Sizzle
Janice was in tears and her voice was shaking. She was back at the popular weight loss meeting, for the third January in a row. Embarrassed, she told the group how, two years ago, she lost twenty pounds in the first part of the year but gained most of it back in the second half.
She said she joined again last year, but, with frustration dripping on every word, she confessed, “When the new program started last year, and they said I could eat anything I wanted, I was more hopeful.” But it wasn’t that easy and she admitted, “I had a hard time getting used to the new way and I wasn’t losing as fast as before. So I dropped out after a couple months. Now I’m six pounds more than this time last year.”
The group understood, especially the nine women and men who, like Janice, were back. Each one hoping that (maybe this time) they would finally accomplish their New Year’s goal to lose weight. Will they do it this time? The odds aren’t in their favor.
Losing weight and getting fit annually tops the list of “most common” New Year’s Resolutions, along with paying off debt and saving money. Yet only about 8% of the people who SAY it actually DO it. That means that for every 100 people who make those promises, 92 of them fail. Will you be one of them? What is it about losing weight – or any other resolution – that makes success so elusive?
There’s a little-understood but simple secret to success that almost everyone ignores. The secret is in learning how to conquer your comfort zone.
Here’s the thing: Your comfort zone is that “inside” place you’re familiar with, where you know what you’re dealing with and know how to handle it. When you leave your comfort zone, even for something better, it’s uncomfortable. You can’t ‘have the luxury of auto-pilot in the new place. As s result, you have to think about what you’re doing. It’s an effort…work.
When you make new choices, not only does it take time to think about them, but maybe those choices don’t push that emotional satisfaction button in your head right away. So you feel a variety of emotions: scared, unsatisfied, agitated, etc. Here are some examples:
Dieting: Instead of just grabbing something you like from the fridge, or off a fast food menu, you have to stop and think about what what you can have and make different choices.
Money: You can’t just pull out your credit card to pay for that dress or dinner or show tickets. You have to think about your budget and maybe say “no” to that thing you want or want to do.
Growing your business: If doing the same old same old is getting you business but not growth. You have to step out of your comfort zone to step up.
Here’s the kicker: Until you develop a comfort level with your new behaviors, a part of you yearns to go back to that familiar space. For a while the effort seems like more pain than gain. And that’s why you quit.
Dealing with your comfort zone is probably your biggest obstacle you’ll face when you have a new goal. It’s also the one that most people ignore – which is why only 8 out of every 100 people stick to their resolutions.
The good news is that it’s one of the things that’s totally in your control.
The Victory Stretch
Facing obstacles is how you get the opportunity to victory. Victory is the stretch you make out of your comfort zone into that greater, more fabulous expression of who you really are. That’s what you want – to be all of your best self. Right? So do it. Start by conquering your comfort zone using these three tips: 1. Recognize the Resistance. You’re going to experience some negative feelings as you move out of your comfort zone. In the past, how did you act just before you quit? Were there things you said, like, “This isn’t working.” or “Why bother?” and “I can’t do this.”
Do you have a pattern? You probably do. What is it?
Your pattern of resistance could show up as sadness, stress, tiredness, anger, disgust, passive-aggressiveness, or something else. It can be a combination of things. Write them down so you heighten your awareness.
2 . Prepare for the Challenge. When you start working on your new goal, and your resistance pattern starts showing up, what will you do? Knowing in advance what your triggers are and how you will handle your discomfort will create a new comfort zone for you. That will boost your chances of pushing forward and being victorious. Here are a few ways to spit in the face of resistance:
Set up a “yes set”. Seeing results is motivating, BUT it takes a while to see them. In between, you need to give yourself some motivations, like:
YES! I exercised three times this week. That’s better than last week
YES! I set up auto-deposit from my paycheck to savings and I didn’t even notice the difference
YES! I networked with six new people this month – double what I did all last quarter.
Remember your “why”. Make a list of all the positive outcomes that will result from achieving your goal. Read them each morning, and whenever your resistance shows up.
Acknowledge yours feelings. Talk to them like the friends they are. “I know you’re here to help me stay in my comfort zone. I appreciate that you want to make me feel safe and secure. But I really want to [whatever the new thing is]. I’d rather that you help me get comfortable with that and, if you can’t, go away.” Sounds a little airy-fairy, but give it a try.
3. Get Support. Find a class, mastermind group, coach, or accountability partner. It will help you in your quest. Having one makes a huge difference. When you make a commitment to someone else, and know that are rooting for you, they create a type of comfort zone. As a result, you are more likely to deal with your resistance effectively. OFFER: If you are looking for help and support in achieving a new goal, you’ll want to be a part of the EMPOWERING and BEST #midlifemakeover. Join me for theSavvy Sizzle Workshop, starting in the new year, just in time for your comfort zone melt down.
Learn more at Annmarie Kelly’s Savvy Sizzle Master Class
# Victorious Woman Project, #Victorious Woman, #WomensEmpowerment, #VictoryChicks, #AnnmarieKelly, #FiveYearMarriage, #MidlifeMakeover
What are you doing for your New year’s Resolutions? Mary Farr joined us at the Friday Happy Hour today to talk about your “Plan B” in 2017. Mary Farr is an author, longtime pediatric hospital chaplain, and health care leader. She speaks and writes from years of experience fostering healing, hope, happiness and humor. You can visit her website at www.desire-to-inspire.net. Or Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/mary.farr.524
Mary’s recently released book, The Promise in Plan B features heartfelt stories of ordinary people finding resilience and joy in the next chapter of their life journeys.
I talked about my trip to Washington DC and New Year’s Eve at the new Knauer Center for the Performing Arts. Here was a pictures from DC and New Year’s Eve.
Today’s quote is from Mary Farr’s book, The Promise in Plan B:
It is the journey, the exodus from the old self to the new, that empowers us to explore life, challenge life, make friends with life, poke fun at life, and finally, with courage and good humor, travel the path that moves us closer to becoming the person we were meant to be – to live the life that wants to live in us.”
Everybody’s talking about “New Year New You” Resolutions. But you don’t need a NEW YOU. You worked hard to be who you are, right? So ignore the NEW YOU stuff and go for BEST YOU. What does your BEST YOU look like? What do you want for 2017? If you don’t know, how will you get it?
It’s like going to the bank with a blank check and asking them to cash it. The teller would look at you like you have six heads; s/he wouldn’t be able to do anything with it. If you really want some money from your bank account, you have to produce a check that’s made out to you for a specific amount. Cashing a check at the bank is very similar to getting what you want in life. If you don’t tell the universe what you actually want, it can’t give it to you. When you want something more and better than you already have, you have to know what that means – MORE of what, BETTER how??
If you don’t get clarity about your wants-needs-desires – your goals – who knows what zigzag path you’ll take or where you’ll end up. Maybe that’s already been happening to you. 2017 is the year to change that pattern.
Also, if you don’t have a big picture of what you want, how will you know when you get there? Here are some ideas for how to get to your own big picture:
Think about things that make you feel happy – what do they have in common?
Think about what you don’t like now – what would be the opposite?
Picture yourself living your best life…
what are you doing?
how do you look?
how do you feel?
who are you with?
where do you live?
what does your neighborhood look like?
where are you working?
what’s you office look like?
how are you getting to work?
what kind of car do you drive?
Don’t be concerned if you don’t know the answers off the top of your head. Brainstorm your ideas on paper, jot down some key words, tell yourself a “story” about your new life. Don’t edit…just go with it.
Then, cut out pictures and make a Vision Board. It doesn’t matter if what you’re dreaming seems impossible. Your picture will go through some refinements, but trust yourself. Eventually you’ll whittle it down to exactly what you want.
And then you’ll make a plan. Once you have a plan, you’ll know what to do. And it will be easier to take action. Even small changes can have big results! Now is the time to focus. Forget New Year New You. Instead focus on your BEST YOU!
What’s YOUR big picture??
Need help? I can help you! Starting January 10… I’m offering two Savvy Sizzle Workshops. One is in person in Wayne PA and the other is a teleseminar. Each one is five weeks and each one offers personal help in addition to the group. And, if you signup now, you’ll get an additional $200 off using the code VW2017 Check them out:
On Monday night I gave the opening “invocation” at my Toastmaster group’s annual party. I talked about goals for the New Year (big surprise, huh?). Afterward, Toastmaster Julie talked with me about goals, and specifically her goal of writing a novel.
“What’s stopping you,” I asked. Julie thought about it for a second or two and then gave me a couple reasons.
As I listened, I realized that, in today’s book publishing world, most of Julie’s reasons don’t hold water. They might have even just ten years ago, but not now.
When I told Julie, she was surprised by actual facts. Then I could see some wheels turning in her head. So I suggested a few doable and results-focused next steps.
Then, as others joined us, our conversation shifted. We both went on to talk about other people.
A little while later, the party started to break up. I was still gabbing with someone when Julie caught my eye. As she left the party, she shouted over to me, “I’m gonna do it!” I could see the excitement in her eyes. What I said had flipped the switch in her head. Once she saw her dream in terms of doable steps, she saw it as attainable. It made a difference. I’m already looking forward to reading a copy!
What about you? What’s one of your dreams and what’s been stopping you from making it come true (until now, of course!)?
Write out what those things are. Ask yourself, what can I do about these? And ask someone else…maybe a couple people. Sometimes you can’t see beyond a barrier but someone else can see it for you.
It could make all the difference in the new year!
What will make you happy in 2017? Reinventing your career…or your life? Starting a business? Having more fun?
Need some help getting your New Year’s Goals going? I can help you! My next workshop is Savvy Sizzle and it’s starting on January 10. You can join me for the Savvy Sizzle teleseminar at 1pm or for the workshop in Wayne PA (near King of Prussia Mall). The Early Bird pricing is still happening and, if you join my Victorious Woman Project page, you’ll find a coupon code for an additional $200 off the cost of either one. Also, if you do the work, it’s a satisfaction guaranteed class or your money back class!
Now that you know what Mercury Retrograde does and how you can minimize its downside and get the most out of it, you probably want to know when it’s happening. Astrologer Joanette McGeoch is passing along next year’s dates:
December 19th 2016 – January 8th 2017
April 9th 2017 – May 3rd 2017
August 12th 2017 – September 5th 2017
December 2nd 2017 – December 22nd 2017
If you want to get an astrology chart done by Joanette, this is a good time. The cost is going up significantly in the new year. BUT Joanette will hold the current chart fee of $60 for Happy Hour listeners for the rest of this year. Send Joanette an email and tell her you heard her on the Friday Happy Hour. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org
I talked about two Terry Gross/Fresh Air shows, and I posted both those interviews here for you:
It happened again this year. I and my spouse, Joseph, made our annual trip to the Christmas tree farm. As usual, I had the odd experience of feeling like the trees were talking to me.
“Pick me” some say as they do their best to stand out. “Pick me! You look like nice people.”
Is it my imagination or do some eager trees seem to shine a little brighter? Maybe it’s just the sun….
“Pick me! It’s what I’ve lived my whole life for,” said one especially shiny tree. “I’d love to make you happy this Christmas. It’s my purpose.”
Ha! How could I, who helps women find their purpose and be victorious, ignore a tree that was so convinced of its purpose-in-life?
That’s the thing with living “on purpose.” Your Purpose-in-Life becomes so compelling that you can’t help yourself but do it.
Living on purpose means two things: you have a core set of beliefs and values that guide your life and you embrace a passion for something bigger than yourself.
Purpose-in-life is the reason you get up in the morning. It’s what excites you. It keeps your mind stimulated and your heart engaged. And it gives you direction, driving your annual and daily goals.
Purpose in your career enables you to maximize your special talents and skills, like connecting with others or leading an organization or starting a business. Outside of a career, you can also find purpose in having children and raising them into healthy well-adjusted adults.
Sometimes we run out of purpose. Maybe the kids have grown up and moved out; your empty nest feels like a thud. Or your company changed hands and now the values aren’t the same; you aren’t as excited about your work anymore. You’ve lost your Purpose-in-life.
A while back, when I created my then-company’s corporate university, I loved what I was doing and worked tirelessly to make it great. One day, shortly after buying a new house and a new car, I had a meeting with my boss. During the meeting, and with a glint in his eyes, he said, “I love when my employees have a lot of debt. I know they’ll work harder because they don’t want to lose their job. It makes me feel like they’re indentured servants.” I was stunned. His words were a like pin popping a balloon. That was the day all the purpose got sucked out of my work. I left a few months later.
If you aren’t living “on purpose” then, chances are, you’re stumbling through life. You feel itchy and, because you can’t find a way out of your malaise, you feel stuck. It’s not a good place because then you’re susceptible to things like depression.
With the New Year just weeks away, this is a good time to refocus and get back to life on purpose. If you need some help to get started, try these:
Revisit your values. They may not have changed, but they might have shifted. For example, “health” might have moved up to the #1 spot. “Winning” might have been in your top five of values before, but now “fun” might take its place.
Dream big. If, in five years, you won an award, what would it be for? Would it be for service, philanthropy, creativity, or something else? OK, maybe you don’t care about awards, but would love it if you had your own TV show…doing what?
Consider your legacy. When you’re gone and people are sitting around talking about you, what do you want your family to say? Your friends? Your church or community?
Life on purpose – whatever the purpose – is the most rewarding way to live. And it shows…because you shine and everyone else basks in the glow.
Like my newly decorated and beautiful Christmas tree. And maybe you in 2017…
Are Your Ready for the New Year??
Do you ever hear yourself asking, “is this all there is?” You aren’t alone! I’m Annmarie Kelly and I help women – like you – get clarity and motivation and build the skills you need to make the most of a work change, divorce, empty nest or another transition. I bring my message to women through organizations and women’s groups, and through my Savvy Sizzle and Optimal Living teleseminars and webinars.
My next workshop is Savvy Sizzle and it’s starting on January 10. Because I want you to make 2017 your best year yet, and have no excuses for why it can’t be, I’m offering my Savvy Sizzle workshop in two ways: In-Person or on the phone. AND I’m giving you a special discount!
Take your pick – in person or on the phone:
The Early Bird pricing is still happening and, if you join my Victorious Woman Project page, you’ll find a coupon for an additional $200 off the cost of either one.
And Savvy Sizzle is a satisfaction guaranteed class: If you do the work and my process doesn’t work for you, you’ll get your money back!